1. What has been your strangest fan encounter?
Steve-O: A friend of mine in England — I really consider him more of a friend than a fan — but there’s a guy out there that’s literally covered in tattoos of me. He’s got a lot of Steve-O tattoos. So I flew myself out to England to go tattoo my autograph on him as well.
2. You’re at a magazine rack and can pick three magazines. What are they?
Well, I would rather [derive onanistic pleasure from] Maxim than, say, Hustler. I like to leave something to the imagination, so I’m going for that Maxim, then I might grab an FHM and, of course, then I’ll pick up a tabloid just to check and make sure I’m not in there. Or make sure I am in there, I should say.
3. Do you have a favorite sports team?
I like to be disappointed by the Miami Dolphins.
4. When was the last time you were starstruck?
I’m going to go with Richard Simmons. The last time I saw Richard Simmons he looked great. I was completely starstruck.
5. If your TV only carried three channels, which three would you want?
I love Court TV and I love A&E, and I’m totally down with CNN. I don’t have time for fiction, pal. There’s too much about the world that I don’t know already to be delving into fiction.
6. When was the last time you felt like crying?
I felt like crying when I was at the sperm bank watching one of my wussies getting his [you-know-what blanked] by a porno star [while taping an episode of Dr. Steve-O]. There were tears of joy flowing.
7. What’s your favorite condiment?
I’ve actually got a condiment disorder — like a really serious condiment disorder. I go for way too much ketchup, mustard, horseradish sauce, A-1 — you name it. I’m a condiment monster. I’ve got a particular new addiction to the 7-Eleven nacho cheese, you know, that movie theater magic.
8. Which Olsen twin do you share a birthday with?
Uh, well, aren’t they twins? So that would be both of them, right? You know, I hate birthdays. All they are are days that make you older than every other day of the year. And, damn it, I’m trying to act young!
Steve-O redefines the term “psycho therapist” as he helps de-wussify men on Dr. Steve-O, premiering Oct. 1 on USA Network.