Posted by Sarah
At the courthouse, Peter tells Lois he wants to hear all about her non-death … not that night, because he has plans, but definitely the next night. We see a replay of Lois falling over the back of the ship after Stewie shoots her. Luckily, a passing merman took her to shore and treated her, then asked permission to make love to her. Problem was, he had the head and torso of a fish, and the legs of a man. Lois refused to sleep with him, he got angry (“I think you kind of owe me”) and she pushed him down, leaving him to flail around in the sand with his little fish fins.
She had amnesia, and found herself in North Carolina where she got a job at a fat camp and started seeing a guy from town. When he finally introduced her to his friends, it turned out he was a white supremacist, but she didn’t grasp that fact until someone punched her in the head for suggesting that no one wanted the Holocaust to ever happen again. The head trauma caused her to remember who she was and what had happened, and she made her way back to Quahog to tell everyone what an evil baby Stewie is.
When she’s done talking, everyone notices that Stewie is gone. The Griffins go home and are greeted by the barrel of Stewie’s gun as he takes them all hostage. When Cleveland comes to check on them, he’s shot in the chest and killed. Stewie ties up the Griffins and takes Brian at gunpoint on a road trip to the nation’s capital so he can take over the world.
Once the Griffins figure out that Chris’ hands were never tied, they all escape, and Lois and Peter find Stewie’s secret ammo room.
Stewie and Brian make it to CIA headquarters, where Stewie attempts to take over the world’s power grids. Avery Bullock and Stan from American Dad bust in and try to stop him, but they’re too late. Stewie cripples the power grids, allowing Katie Holmes to escape her electronically enforced slavery to Tom Cruise.
The next day, which he has made St. Rupert’s Day, Stewie plans to address the world and enact new laws, the first of which bans straight-to-video Disney movies like Aladdin 4: Jafar May Need Glasses (“Number one or number two? Number one. Number two. Number three or number four? Three, four. Three. Four. Three. Four …”). Stewie greets the unwashed masses, and decrees that 1.) all the nation’s milk will come from Hilary Swank, 2.) anyone who sees Peter Griffin must throw apples at him, and 3.) anyone using the words “irregardless,” “a whole nother,” or “all of the sudden” will be taken to work camps. That last law probably won him the hearts of all the nation’s English majors …
Meanwhile, Lois is stocking up on Stewie’s firepower and heads off to kill him. A Matrix-style gunfight ensues, during which we see that Bill Clinton’s presidential portrait was done in the nude. When it comes time, Lois can’t kill her own kid, and Peter steps in with ill-timed Lethal Weapon and When Harry Met Sally lines. He shoots Stewie in the chest and head, and it’s curtains for the little guy.
Then we see Stewie exiting a virtual reality simulator in his room. He and Brian argue about whether that’s just as insulting and offensive to people watching as a dream sequence would be, and then Stewie says, “At least it didn’t end like The Sopranos, where it just cut —” Um, yeah …
Aside from the last seconds, it was a great episode. Highlights included:
- The “Welcome to North Carolina” sign: “First in Flight, 48th in Education”
- Joe and the cops knocking on Superman’s Fortress of Solitude, and having to deal with his housekeeper
- Stewie’s macaroni picture of an owl
- Cleveland’s experience at the Pearly Gates: “I don’t understand why I need to give you a credit card imprint.” “It’s kind of a new policy.” “You didn’t ask the guy in front of me for one …”
- Stewie singing Debbie Gibson’s “Lost in Your Eyes” at the American Idol audition
- Willem Dafoe living under Stewie’s crib
- The paperclip helper that pops up while Stewie’s trying to take over the power grids
- Stewie’s presidential portrait done by Gary Larson