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Time To Travel On ANTM, But Where

by WindUpDoll

This episode begins with all the girls thinking about how they have to step up their game. They all want to be America’s Next Top Model.

Fatima is worried about more practical matters — silly girl lost her travel documents. She’s not a US citizen so she really, really needs to get her act together and get those papers. She didn’t want to have to think about the documents, but now that she may be leaving the country, it’s a very real possibility that she’ll need them.

Paulina Porizkova makes a surprise visit to the girls to give them a lesson on how to present yourself effectively. She plays a party game with them. Paulina is transformed to Miss DuBois, a bitchy woman at a party that the girls need to try and impress. Anya does well in Paulina’s eyes.

Then Paulina plays a perky reporter asking questions. Dominique can’t speak in sound bites. Duh. Whitney answers well but has dead eyes. [Read more →]

Ryan States The Obvious, We’re Down To 7 On American Idol

by WindUpDoll

We must start Wednesday’s elimination show with the obvious. Someone’s going home tonight and American Idol. Thank you Ryan Seacrest, Rhodes Scholar.

And it’s time for the cheesy group number! The Idols are singing ‘One Sweet Day,’ that hit for Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men. The Idols are thankfully not asked to do more than step up and sing. Then they have to switch position on the stage. The choreographers have officially given up when walking into a straight line is considered choreography.


We get a shout out to Scott Krippayne, the guy who wrote the craptacular ‘This Is My Now.’ If you Google ‘This Is My Now’ you’ll find a lyrics site that says ’songwriter: N/A.’ Maybe Ryan’s trying to give these songwriters the credit no one knows to give them. Why not, Ryan. Why not.

[Read more →]

One Tree Hill: The Slippery Slope Continues Part 13

Posted by: haro1d

You thought I missed it, didn’t you? What about you? Did you miss One Tree Hill because of the day change?

I didn’t, but John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.” What do I mean by that? Not a thing, really. OTH is fond of starting new episodes with a literary citation, so I thought I’d pull one out as well, even if it’s from a deceased Beatle instead of Walt Whitman.

Let’s be honest, though — by now, you’ve either seen Monday’s episode or you’ve read someone else’s synopsis. If you read this blog, chances are it’s not because you’re dying to catch the recap. You’re either with me or against me in lampooning one of the most entertainingly poor shows on TV. Instead of talking about what happened on the show this week, I’d like to take issue with its form.

Monday’s episode didn’t start, like many do, with the aforementioned literary swipe, but we pretty quickly got into an editing pattern as the show jumped from one character’s drama to the other with a simple verbal segue. A little of that is fine, but when you edit the entire show that way, it starts to look pretty contrived. And when you edit OTH that way, it’s cheesier than Wisconsin pizza.

I will give credit to the show’s creators. They do try things here and there that other shows wouldn’t — like inserting the show’s creator in the show, as we saw with the return of Max (Mark Schwahn) on Monday. But if those other shows don’t, it’s usually for a reason. (Schwahn happens to look like a slightly older version of any number of the cast, instead of looking like Dom Deluise or Francis Ford Coppola, so he probably can get away with it.)

More often than not, though, OTH adheres to its formula. Voice-over narration — often Lucas, but sometimes Nathan or another character; ping-ponging between the various dramas taking place, always ending up in an ostensibly thoughtful “montage” at the end that bookmarks the fates of the various players until next week’s episode. It’s a formula that works for the show, obviously, but wow, if there’s anything that accentuates the high-school-drama quality, that ending montage is it.

It’s easy to think that OTH, like all of its characters, needs to get over itself. But if it ever did, it more than likely would cease to exist. And then, as Richard Nixon once said — and I’m paraphrasing, here — we wouldn’t have it to kick around, anymore.