by Dizzy Miss Lizzy
Is it just me or is this season ridiculously amateur compared to seasons past?
It’s almost hard to watch. I expected some kind of learning curve, one where each week the girls get better and the competition gets stronger. But somewhere right around week two, the curve plateaued. Teyona, strong from the start, is still the only real (sort-of) model in the bunch. But her personality doesn’t stand out and her sense of fashion doesn’t inspire. Celia would be great in the industry somewhere, but not as a model. Allison has improved slightly; I think she might have 2 looks and 5 poses in her repertoire now. Too bad none of them are a “Blue Steel.”
This week, it’s time for the five remaining girls to go see five Brazilian designers and practice booking shows.
The girls have to make it back by 3:30pm. Traffic in the city stinks. Celia goes on foot most of the day. Teyona arrives at each designer just after another girl. Long cab rides, sweat and irritation, blah blah blah. Is this why we watch reality tv? Celia and Fo arrive late and miss out on a helicopter ride across the city.
Teyona – books 3 out of 3. Challenge Winner!
Celia – books 3 out of 4. The designers love her style and attitude, but some feel she is simply too old.
Aminat – books 2 out of 3. She clearly thought she booked all of them. The designers liked her and she has a great walk, but her pictures are not strong enough.
Fo – books 0 out of 5. Fo is too short, too commercial, too tense, too nice.
Allison – books 1 out of 4. While her pictures are strong, Allison’s timid personality and awkward runway walk turn-off the casting agents. At least Allison bears it all in silence.
Photo Shoot: Bikinis on a Beach
Oh my heavens, there are not enough inches of material on these girls’ bodies. I thought this was the CW, not Skin-emax! Are these sizes typical on Brazilian beaches? Teyona tries to find a bigger suit and quickly realizes that there aren’t any bigger suits. In the background, Sutan, makeup artist extraordinaire, is great. “If it seems like I’m ignoring you, it’s because I am.”
Jay Manuel arrives on set and introduces the photographer, none other than Nigel Barker! The scene is on a beach and, like the first shoot with Nigel, the models must stand out in a crowd of extras. This time, though, the extras are normal people, average joes you actually see on a beach. Nothing glamorous about that hairy fat guy or the hot dog stand. The set takes everyone by surprise. Allison and Teyona adjust quickly and create great poses. Allison looks like a sexy mermaid. She uses the fat guy as a prop; he practically has a heart attack when she touches him.
Fo is dreadful. As Jay tells her, “You’re giving me Gollum again.” She, again, is too short. Her proportions photograph short. Poor kid. 5’7″ would still tower over me.
Celia is also off. She psyched herself out. Nigel actually has to switch places with her and show her what he wants. How embarrassing! Aminat thinks Celia should go home this week. Probably to a nursing home, from all the comments about age. 25 is the new 75, I guess. The modeling industry must be in the process of getting the rights to sign fetuses.
Aminat’s photo shoot is okay. Her dark skin is lovely on the set and she stands out. But her poses leave a lot to be desired. The judges agree. They love Aminat’s body, comparing it to Naomi Campbell’s. But they feel she wastes it in photos. Again, the same criticism week after week: “Aminat does not know how to work her body in photos.” You’d think the girl would learn by now.
Nigel has one line of criticism for Celia, Aminat, and Fo – “the thing about her, for me, is that she is just not natural.” I wonder if they looped that line. Can’t anyone actually model in this competition? Teyona is as close as it gets, but she could be even better if the other girls pushed harder. This season is an extreme disappointment.
High: Teyona and Allison
Bottom Two: Celia and Fo
Zoolander photo: ©2001 by Paramount Pictures