By Tom Comi
Fact: The show will remain the same when Sheen returns.
Fiction: The name of the show will be changed to Two Guys, a Kid and a Whorehouse.
Fact: CBS will have to find another program to fill the void in its Monday night lineup.
Fiction: It will be a sitcom for Julie Chen, wife of CBS honcho and nepotism advocate Les Moonves.
Fact: Cast and crew members are concerned whether they will be paid during the 3-month break.
Fiction: Sheen offered to compensate everybody with poker chips from the Bellagio and a trial subscription to a porn website.
Fact: The hiatus will give Sheenâ€™s co-star Jon Cryer an opportunity to pick up some extra work.
Fiction: There are a lot of TV and movie producers looking to hire Jon Cryer for extra work.
Fact: CBS would in no way try to capitalize on Sheenâ€™s problems to maintain the showâ€™s ratings.
Fiction: Doctors Drew, Phil, Oz and Ruth will appear in an upcoming episode.
Fact: Sheen’s character will still be a womanizing party animal.
Fiction: It will not be creepy at all that Sheen will still be playing a womanizing party animal.
Credit: ZUMA Press/Newscom