By Tom Comi
I so wanted Jane Lynch to be a great host on last night’s 63rd Emmy Awards on Fox. She seemed to have all of the right ingredients going in: a great sense of humor, infinite spunk and a likability with stars and fans alike.
Unfortunately, it didn’t work. From a very lame opening song medley to a boring Jersey Shore sketch to hit-or-miss jokes (more on the hits later), Lynch was sadly miscast.
Throw in some really bad ideas (including a very weak celebrity singing group) and a lot of predictability with the winners — Jon Stewart again, really? — and the result was one of the most blah Emmy shows in recent memory.
But not all was bad. There was an edgy medley of Saturday Night Live digital shorts (William H. Macy will never be the same again), and we were treated to a humorous spoof of The Office in which Ashton Kutcher showed up on set thinking he was replacing Steve Carrell. Fans of Modern Family also had to be happy with all of the deserved hardware the show took home.
And because we at Channel Guide like our glass half full, here are some of our favorite speeches, comments and zingers from last night’s telecast. Go here for a complete list of winners.
Jon Hamm on the pre-show about the new season of Mad Men: “We’ll probably have a lot more vampires this year. There’s going to be some Glee cross-over. It’s really what people want from our show, and they’re going to get it.”
LL Cool J, (NCIS: Los Angeles) on the pre-show about his favorite guilty pleasure: “Swamp People. It’s about guys that go gator hunting in the swamp … I love it, they’re down in the Bayou hunting gators!”
Jane Lynch: “There’s Betty White. She’s the reason we start the show at 5pm.”
Julianna Margulies: “I’m here this evening to present the award for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy. The nominees are so strong this year. We’ve got that kid from Glee (Chris Colfer), and that guy from Pretty in Pink (Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men) versus four actors from Modern Family. Wow, if someone from Modern Family wins, that set is going to be awkward.”
Jane Lynch: “Welcome back to the Modern Family Awards. We decided to throw them into the Drama category just to see what happens.”
Charlie Sheen: “Before I present Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, my old category, I want to take a moment to get something off my chest and say a few words to everybody here from Two and a Half Men. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you nothing but the best for this upcoming season. We spent eight wonderful years together, and I know you will continue to make great television.”
Melissa McCarthy (Mike & Molly), after winning Best Actress in a Comedy Series while the other five nominees joined her on stage: “Holy smokes, it’s my first and best pageant ever!”
Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights), after winning Best Actor in a Drama: [We have no idea what he really said at the end of his speech because the microphone was turned off, but we're giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying he thanked his wife since he was gesturing in her direction.]
Guy Pearce (Mildred Pierce), after winning Best Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie: “This was really a delightful experience making Mildred Pierce. I got to have sex with [co-star] Kate Winslet many, many times … Kate, I share this with you, because you’re an extraordinary woman, thank you for allowing me to insert myself into your world of Mildred.”
Jane Lynch, finally putting us out of our misery: “Thank you, thank you so much, that’s our telecast. Good night.”
Jane Lynch: © John McCoy/Los Angeles Daily News/ZUMA Press/Newscom
Jon Hamm: Credit Lisa O’Connor/ZUMA Press/Newscom
Guy Pearce: Credit Hans Gutknecht/ZUMA Press/Newscom