RuPaul’s Drag Race is all about the drama. As a reality show, we can be pretty confident that most of that drama is manufactured from the minds of World of Wonder. This season, however, bakes the drama in from the first episode. The queens strut into the workroom, one by one. Each of them have the Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent needed to win, according to RuPaul. Some of the queens know each other; others do not & feel a little outcast. And then it happens.
Alyssa Edwards was already in the workroom. Unbeknownst to her, the final contestant to enter the workroom would be no other than Coco Montrese.
Ok, girl, so here’s what I heard. Apparently Alyssa was crowned Miss Gay America 2010. Coco was the runner-up. For reasons not specified Alyssa was stripped of her crown & it was given to Coco. Rumors for why include Alyssa being at an event without permission of the Miss Gay America organization OR other contestants were complaining about Alyssa’s behavior. Based on this first episode, I think I know who Alyssa blame for the scandal…mmmmmmkkkkaaayyy.
Oh yeah, there are 12 other contestants too. Ru gives them all the advice to fake it ’til you make it.
The first challenge dunks each drag queen into a big tank of water for old school Hollywood glamor realness. Mike Ruiz is our photographer for this shoot. Some girls have issues with their tucks, or lack thereof. Some girls can’t swim & can’t really get the hang of it. Others rock it out. Alaska straight-up gives up. Way to go Alaska. In her confessional she realizes that maybe that wasn’t the right choice to get ahead in the competition.
We learn that Jinkx has narcolepsy which would be challenging to deal with. For those of you that don’t know, narcolepsy is the inability to regulate sleep-wake cycles. I have a feeling this will be coming up in later episodes.
RuPaul & cocktails with the Pit Crew time! Ru lets the contestants know that they will be going on a Ru-specific tour of Hollywood and shopping spree. What follows is a cheesy-even-for-Drag-Race montage of drag queens on a double-decker bus ‘waving’ to this season’s celebrity judges. They all happen to be out! And they all happen to be standing on something that looks like a piece of painted grass next to a piece of painted sidewalk.
Finally the contestants end up at Marco Marco & they are led to the ‘VIP’ entrance. Of course, it’s an alley. An alley with RuPaul in a hot pink nuclear suit. Do you really think this is a for-real shopping spree? Oh, hell no! The shopping spree is in the back of the store, in the dumpsters. The contestants need to create a red carpet outfit from what they dumpster dive. There’s the usual complaining about getting a boo-boo from another drag queen, but that’s about it. With their blue picking-up-trash-on-the-side-of-the-highway bags, it’s time to head back into the workroom.
Remember the horse-face Alaska wore to make her entrance into the workroom? Apparently Alaska’s horse face translates to another body part. Hel-lo! First one naked in the workroom!
While Ru does his Tim Gunn turn, he counsels the contestants on their looks. Coco’s objective is to be classy. With director’s cones on the boobs.
Serena Chacha is really into being a performance artist. Her dress is an extension of her art and she’s totally calm about things. Hmmm… we’ll see how that works out for her.
Penny Tration made it to Drag Race by winning the fan favorite votes. She would like to bring her waist to her knees. Huh?
More getting ready; more bitchiness; lots of questions for Alaska about her relationship with Sharon Needles. Things were hard for the two of them, but as she explained it, she had the choice of being bitter or being Sharon’s biggest fan. Alaska chose the latter.
Shade is thrown between Jade and Serena. Actually, no one seems to be liking Serena at this point. She’s being loud and irritating to the rest of the girls. And apparently she thinks being young is an advantage. Um, honey, it’s usually not. If you’ve watched the show.
Mike Ruiz and Camille Grammer join Michelle Visage and Santino Rice on the judges panel this week.
Jade Jolie is the drag version of the NBC logo. Most dragtestants don’t really look like they’re wearing something found in a dumpster. Not that this is the ‘make-shit-out-of-candy’ episode of Project Runway, but really only Alaska’s dress reminds us of the whole dumpster part of this challenge.
Tonight’s queens sent to safety are: Jinkx Monsoon, Detox, Honey Mahogany, Vivienne Pinay, Alyssa Edwards, Monica Beverly Hillz and Coco Montrese. Ru gives them an ominous “Don’t call us, we’ll call you” as they head for the Absolute Lounge.
The queens that get good feedback are Roxxxy Andrews, Ivy Winters, Alaska and Lineysha Sparx. The queens that get not-so-good feedback are Jade Jolie, Penny Tration and Serena Chacha.
Camille is all excited about the shoe in Lineysha’s hair. Can someone get Manila Luzon on the phone & tell her to fill Camille in?
Michelle calls Serena drag Pinocchio.
Roxxxy Andrews wins this week’s challenge — immunity and a custom-made dress. Unfortunately, she heads back with a ‘thank you for believing in me’ which instantly makes me think of Shangela. Or Jade from America’s Next Top Model.
Left in the bottom 2 are Penny Tration and Serena Chacha. The time has come for them to lip-synch for their lives. Good luck, and don’t f*** it up. Tonight’s song is Miley Cyrus’ Party in the USA. Serena goes for the split; Penny Tration frequently turns around because she doesn’t know the words. It’s a pretty ‘meh’ lip-synch from where I’m sitting, but then again I can’t stand that song.
In the end, Penny Tration is sent to sashay away, giving us at least one more week of ‘performance art’ from Serena. We’ll see if she takes the judges’ critiques to heart.
Did RuPaul make the right call? Sound off in the comments below! And be sure to tune in to next week’s RuPaul’s Drag Race on Monday night!