Gypsy Sisters Episode 5 recap: Who’s Your Daddy?

Having watched screener after screener of Gypsy Sisters, trying to come up with a preview that didn’t give away everything, I’ve decided the hell with it — ’tis better to recap than blow the show beforehand because I’m too inclined to yak about it. So here we go.

We married off our little Mellie last week in an expletive and physical comedy filled, pink-and-leopard-print bonanza. Though all of the ladies professed doubt that mom-to-be Mellie would even go through with it, she did, moving the conversation to how long the marriage will last.

Turns out, not very long.

One month later, Nettie is on her way to the hospital to fetch Mellie who has been an inpatient thanks to hyperemesis gravidarum — HG for short — the same sort of incessant vomiting that felled Kate Middleton, too. Nettie says she’s the only one who visited her sister in the hospital the whole two weeks she was there.

After Mellie hops in the truck, Nettie asks her what gives with Robbie and she reveals that the marriage lasted a whopping six days. The newlyweds moved in with Robbie’s dad and stepmom and Robbie promptly resumed going out, leaving Mellie at home with her in-laws. And we all know how well Mellie does with parental figures. Plus, she’s pretty sure Rob was cheating.

Kayla and Danielle go to the nail salon, where Kayla uses the nice, neutral territory to confront Danielle about rumors that she’s been talking to a Romany boy. Danielle says yes, she has been talking to George for almost three months now. I get the impression that “talking to” is the equivalent of “going out with” in gypsy lingo, given Kayla’s stricken reaction. Kayla says the whole family has known George for a long time, but she still doesn’t seem terribly happy about the budding romance. She gives her daughter one of her patented finger-waving “not havin’ it” lectures about having to tell her dad about George, but Danielle proudly declares, “I’m woman enough to do it!”

Man, at 14 I wasn’t woman enough to do anything, and nobody knew that more than me, so I salute the kid’s confidence. And hope she survives the discussion. Kayla hints that the worst that could happen is she’s going to “get her phone took,” and Danielle says not texting George would kill her dead. Yep. She’s still 14. Kayla softens and says she sees herself in her girl.

Nettie brings Mellie home to her house, where it turns out that she will not be the only expectant mother under the roof. Nettie’s daughter Dallas is also in the family way, courtesy of her new boyfriend Tyler. Or maybe not. Tyler claims he’s not the papa and leaves Dallas in the dust.

Dallas’ first baby Demi is turning one, so Mellie comes home to cake-filled festivities. Dallas and Mellie compare pregnancy notes and Nettie decides Mellie should try caring for Demi for a day to get an idea of what she’s in for. Both Dallas and Mellie look alarmed.

Back at Kayla’s, it’s time for Gypsy Juliet to ‘fess up about her familiar Romeo. Papa Richard stays pretty calm and Kayla does her best to run interference to make sure it stays that way. Danielle says they don’t want to run off and get married — they just want to hang out. Richard decides because boy George is Romany and they’ve known him for so long, he’ll give the romance a chance. Kayla tells Danielle to invite her beau for dinner.

At Nettie’s, it’s time for Mellie to give baby Demi a bath. Demi is a perpetually fretful kid to begin with, so baby lessons go pretty much the way you’d expect. Dallas never really lets her baby leave her sight. Meanwhile, Tyler calls Nettie to present further evidence that he isn’t the dad of Dallas’ bun in the oven. None of the Stanleys are having his arguments, though, and Nettie calls his denials a total gorger move, because Gypsy girls are mindful of who they’re sleeping with and keep the body count low, so as to always know for sure who fathers their kids.

Next day, Laura and Kayla meet up with Nettie and Mellie for lunch. Mellie tells the girls that she and Robbie are no more. Kayla argues that Mellie will need his help with the baby, so she should rethink that decision. Mellie concedes that she would probably be a different person if her own dad had been in the picture, but she thinks Robbie is too fond of trouble to be a good dad.

Then Kayla and Nettie compare notes about their daughters and their Romany boys. My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding fans will recall that Nettie’s 14-year-old Nukkie ran away with gypsy Pookie and has yet to return, so Nettie hopes Kayla knows what she’s in for and is properly on guard.

Then Laura announces that she and Kayla have decided to go into the kids’ clothing business. Nettie says that was her idea and they cribbed it and, plus, they have no talent for fashion. Laura says she can be the jewelry person, but Nettie says no. Her idea. She should be part of the business.

Oh hey! Hearing baby’s heartbeat? There’s an app for that! And Mellie is demonstrating it for Lottie Mae, who’s back in town for a visit. Then Lottie tells Mellie about the horrors of prison and tells her she wants to avoid going there at all costs, because you can’t eat what you want and girls kiss girls right in front of you. When did Mellie get so squeamish about girls kissing girls?

To see what she can do about that, Mellie goes to visit her attorney, Mr. Christopher Collins, about the aftermath of her assault charges. He tells her that they’ve been offered a deal — two weekends in jail. Mellie asks if she can do the time after the baby’s born and he tells her no. Then she asks him if he can help her with an annulment and he says yes. Then she asks him if he could help her find her dad, because her mom won’t cough up any info. All Mellie knows is his name and his birthdate and that he looks like Beeltlejuice. Well, that should make him easy to spot!

Mr. Collins wants to know why Mellie suddenly wants to meet her dad so bad, and she says she just wants to know why he ran off for good. “A little bit of closure,” says Mr. Collins. Yes, says Mellie, and then that’s it. Mr. Collins agrees to help. Mellie meets up with Lottie again and they discuss Nettie and Mellie’s dad. Lottie says if she keeps talking about daddy dearest, Lottie is leaving right this minute. And she does, asking God’s help as she goes.

Nettie and Mellie go shopping for maternity clothes and assorted other baby items. Nettie swears that Mellie is having a boy and says she is never wrong about these things. To get her off the baby talk, Mellie tells Nettie that Kayla and Laura are moving ahead with their business with Heather who spells her name Hathir. This is a new one on me, but a Google search reveals plenty of other Hathirs in the world, so there you go.

At Kayla’s, the family is preparing for a backyard fire-pit cookout to welcome officially George into the fold. The family is clearly comfortable with the kid, because Danielle’s younger siblings vie for a spot in his lap. Outside, Danielle claims that real estate and Laura is appalled. Kayla just thinks it’s cute. Sure, it’s cute until Danielle pulls a Dallas or a Nukkie and a Pookie and then what? Kayla has faith.

Robbie calls Mellie from some guy named Donald’s phone, because she doesn’t pick up when he calls from his own. Robbie wants to get together to talk about their future for the sake of the kid. Mellie says she’s over it and has told her lawyer so. Robbie says she has to grow up and let him coparent now that there’s a kid on the way. She gives in and agrees to meet up the next day.

At Kayla’s house, she and Laura discuss the business. Laura says she’s good at ideas but bad at assembly. Kayla says she wants to do tank tops for little girls with a G on the back for “gypsy.” And just like magic, Nettie calls to further protest her exclusion from the enterprise. She and Kayla get into it — can I get another big finger-wavin’ “Haowwww no!” my brothers and sisters — and Kayla cuts the conversation short.

Then Laura and Kayla realize that all Nettie needs is a little love. They call her back and invite her to join in. Nettie will design the hell out of some tutus, ya’ll. She’s glad they came to their senses.

Mellie finally meets up with Robbie at a diner with hog’s legs and a stripper pole. The sight of Robbie’s food makes Mellie barf and the direction of the conversation does, too. Robbie trods his point about Mellie needing to grow up and Mellie calls him out on the cheating. Robbie doesn’t deny it but says she’s a cheater, too. Stare down. Mellie says she hasn’t been with another man since they split up. Then they argue over who will raise their child. Robbie says he wants his kid to have a father so his kid doesn’t have the kind of childhood he did, and Mellie gives him a coy smile.

Maybe Mr. Collins has one less job to do, after all.

Next week, the clothing business keep moving forward, Mr. Collins finds Beetlejuice, and Robbie and Mellie get physical … and not in a good way.

New episodes of Gypsy Sisters air Sunday nights at 10/9CT on TLC.

Images/video: TLC

About Lori Acken

Lori just hasn't been the same since "thirtysomething" and "Northern Exposure" went off the air.
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One Response to Gypsy Sisters Episode 5 recap: Who’s Your Daddy?

  1. senora lopez says:

    i didnt care for danielles new boyfriend. they were way too friendly with each in front of the family. i am surprised kaylas husband restrained himself from sending george home and having danielle end it. that is a recipe for disaster. danielle is such a precious and pretty girl…she needs to wait to date. please kayla try to stop a bad situation before it happens.

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