Fashion Police 03-15-13 recap

It’s week 2 of Fash Fabness. Stop trying to make that happen, Fashion Police! Laila Ali is sitting in for Kelly this week. Joan says that Kelly is feeling better and will be back next week.

 5 Must-See Looks of the Week:

5. Dita Von Teese wearing a 3-D printing dress. It’s made from plastic. It looks like a black version of the net that Clementines come in. Of course the panel loves it.

4. Blake Lively wearing a cute purple little dress with white trim. It has some weird plastic bib on the chest. She’s all set to go to a BBQ.

3. NeNe Leakes wearing a flowy printed Lanvin logo dress. Tacky. The less said about her the better, in my opinion.

2. Rose McGowan wearing an owl print top with a clear poncho over it and white jeans. She looks crazy.

1. Kim Kardashian wearing head-to-toe white. Again, the less said about her the better.

Tonight’s guest is Rachel Bilson and she brought her stylist with her. They started a shoe line together on shoemint.com. My ears perk up. Hi, my name is Laura and I am a shoe addict. Joan asks them what they would pick for a very stylish, amazingly sexual 80-year-old Jew. They recommended a pointy toe silver shoe. Very cute. Rachel shows her favorite red carpet look. It’s a long hot pink animal print dress. I’m not a fan. Her worst look was a dress over jeans, and that gets no argument here.

My favorite segment is next: Guess me from behind. Yay! Up first is a woman with huge brunette hair in a retro ’50s swimsuit. Giuliana’s guess is Megan Fox, George says Zooey Deschanel, Laila says Katy Perry. The answer is Selena Gomez. The 2nd woman is on a soccer field with her son wearing a white dress that is blowing up in the back and you can see her cheeks. Very classy. Giuliana says Britney Spears, George says Ashley Judd, Laila also says Britney. The answer is Britney! Good call, Giuliana and Laila. They get a Fashion Police T-shirt.

They interview Laila a bit. She is so, so pretty! Joan asks her if she could box any man who would it be, Chris Brown? Laila says that’s a good one and that she’d like to whup Chris Brown. Look out Laila, Team Breezy is going to be after you now! Joan asks Laila to show her how to throw a punch. Laila says that as much as Joan talks about people, she needs to learn to defend herself. Good point! Laila has been a great guest — she really knows her fashion and has great style.

The Sweet 16 Most Stylish Athletes continues. This week are numbers 12-9.  12. Nacho Figueras, a polo player.  11. Roger Federer  10. Lolo Jones  9. Johnny Weir!! I love him! George calls him the Liberace of sports. Very true. Joan says that she loves her gays, but he still could have prayed a little bit of the gay away.

This week’s best and worst dressed: Best – Amanda Seyfried   Worst – Rose McGowan

Joan one-liners:

I love it when black ladies go blond, I think it’s fabulous; Mary J Blige, Fantasia, Donatella Versace…  (referring to NeNe Leakes)

She looks beautiful in white, but once in a while I’d like to see white in Kim (referring to Kim Kardashian)

She has seen more famous penises than the urinal at the Academy Awards (referring to January Jones)

It’s like putting a dollop of caviar over a pile of dog s*&%. (referring the broach on Rachel Bilson’s dress)

If you look closely at her inner thighs you can still see the marks where Justin Bieber was teething. (referring to Selena Gomez)

Lolo Jones is famous because she’s a 30-year-old virgin.  She and I have a lot in common because neither of us have had sex in 3 decades.

This week’s tally:

Fake George laughs: 9

Inappropriate Joan Jokes: 21

Amazing Count: 3

Obsessed count: 0 – It’s because Kelly is out this week.

 

Thanks for reading.  See you next week!

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Credit: E!

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