This week on My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding, it’s all about twins and sins.
Plymouth, North Carolina, best friends Romanichal gypsy Lottie, 21, and gorger girl Courtney, 18, are preparing for their Big Fat American Half-Gypsy Double Wedding. Lottie is engaged to Courtney’s gorger big brother Lee, 30, and Courtney is marrying Lottie’s gypsy cousin Danny, 21. Both couples have been dating for two years and are ready to make it official in the biggest wedding Plymouth has ever seen.
Before they can get to walking down the aisle, though, Danny has some business to attend to — a three-month stint in the pokey for being part of a gypsy home-improvement scam. Dreamy, girly Courtney says she has no idea how to even act when her man is not around, so it’s up to Lottie to lead her buddy through the wedding plans.
The duo settle on a shiny silver-studded wedding cake and a monster truck to drive them to the ceremony. Courtney says she was raised redneck, hence, that’s the wedding transpo of her dreams. The Old Fisherman’s Social Club will serve as the wedding venue/reception site. And Sondra Celli — of course — will provide the over-the-top frocks.
Celli decides to make the girls “sister dresses,” similarly decorated super-floral frocks accentuated in complementary colors — Courtney’s neon green, Lottie’s neon pink — with crowns and shoes to match.
All the wedding plans are falling nicely into place — except for one enormous hitch in the giddy-up. Danny’s mother, Gail, is bound and determined that her boy will marry a proper gypsy woman who can get things done, not the dipsy non-gypsy bonbon that is Courtney.
Meanwhile, in rural Acworth, GA., bedroom-eyed Romanichal gypsy twins Teddy and Tommy are gearing up for their blowout 18th birthday party. While Teddy is still perfectly happy to play the field with freewheeling gorger girls, Tommy thinks it might be time to find himself a wife — and, like Gail, the boys’ mama, Diane, is also adamant that her boys marry within the Romanichal bloodline. She says if they marry gorger girls they will not have a peaceful life. I don’t think Diane has watched even 2 minutes of Gypsy Sisters if she thinks that. But what do I know?
Tommy — who is sporting a dooze of a scratch on his forehead — says being sexy is a tough job, but someone has to do it.
Also, someone has to cook him a hot breakfast every morning, which is why he plans to appease his mother and marry a Romanichal girl. One with pretty feet. Because a girl with pretty feet takes care of herself and THAT is the truth.
Teddy, the decidedly less suave of the duo, says he prefers playing the field with his cousin Big Joe, enjoying the freely doled-out favors of gorger girls.
The two will have to go it alone for a month, though, because Tommy is also headed to jail for a month for a variety of offenses. He says the police just don’t like gypsies and the gypsies don’t like police.
Back in North Carolina, it’s time for Danny’s homecoming. Courtney and Lottie have secured an enormous white SUV limo to transport him from the courthouse. Except he’s not at the courthouse. He never was at the courthouse. Who knows where he is. Lottie and a weepy Courtney says it’s because the Beaufort County Courthouse hates gypsies that all this confusion is happening.
Tommy has had better luck. He gets sprung from jail after only one week of his monthlong sentence, thanks to brother Teddy. PARTY TIME, twin bro’ style.
Meantime, Lottie and Courtney have located the missing Danny and are on their way to get him at the prison at 1 o’clock in the morning, in jammie pants and without the limo. Lottie gets the first hug. Courtney gets to keep him, ‘cause God she loves him so.
To prepare for their birthday bash, which is finally a go, Tommy and Teddy — shirtless, with enormous dollar-sign medallions around their necks and crowns on their heads — pose for photos that will be blown up poster-size and mounted on the walls of the party site. Tommy also wants a banner that says “Stylin’ and Profilin’” because that’s how he chooses to live his life.
As proof, two large boxes arrive for the boys. They open them and discover their party wear — matching, blinged-out, monogrammed cloaks that proclaim them Romany Royalty. The cloaks will be accessorized with matching sleeveless shirts and pimp canes. The boys say people are coming from all over the country to celebrate the big day.
While the twins make themselves beautiful, the crowd is beginning to gather at the Electric Cowboy. And drink at the Electric Cowboy. Some of them not quite of legal age to do that. The manager shuts the party down. The gypsy men think he has overreacted and begin to take their frustrations out on each other and the TLC cameramen. By the time the birthday boys arrive, the cops have cordoned off the area and are clearing it out. So much for the party.
In North Carolina, the wedding is mere days away, but Gail has come up with what she believes is the perfect plan to run it off the rails. She plans a bachelor party at a local strip club, thinking that will make Courtney so mad that she’ll give Danny an ultimatum. Gypsy Lottie takes the news of the outing in stride, but Courtney is enraged.
Meanwhile, Tommy is making sure there is a decent selection of potential wives at his rescheduled birthday to-do. Or at least a decent selection of party princesses. He calls to specially invite gorger BFFs Alexis and Erica, telling the giddy Alexis that she’s going to be his future “wifey.” He tells Teddy that he’s mostly inviting them so he has a backup bride-to-be should the gypsy candidates prove unworthy. Oblivious, Alexis thinks it would be fascinating to be a gypsy wife. She tells Erica she loves Tommy. Get in line, sister.
Word is clearly out that Tommy is looking for a bride, because the girls battle for a chance to dance with the Gypsy King. American Gypsy Wedding faithful, remember last season’s “Queen of Hearts” — and daughter of Pat Baby — Priscilla? That’s her with the big ol’ doe eyes, tight red jeans and impossibly flat abs, declaring herself the human version of a fine piece of jewelry from a very, very expensive jewelry store. Yay! I vote Priscilla, Tommy! More Pat Baby!
Nope. Tommy decides nobody at the party will be Mrs. Tommy. At least not tonight. Teddy’s happy to keep his brother to himself.
With four days to go before the wedding, the bachelor party is headed out on the town. Gail tells Danny’s best friend to make sure he has a good time, wink, wink. Gorger Lee maintains a respectful distance from the dancers, settling for a few too many drinks instead, but Danny dives right in. When the other men head for home, he heads for the home of a dancer named Mindy. Who for the rest of the episode will be known as Mindy the Stripper. Clearly not the least bit ashamed of his transgression, the next morning, Danny smiles straight into the camera while Mindy the Stripper nibbles his neck outside someone’s trailer home.
Then he’s totally surprised when Gail lets news of her son’s extracurricular nookie fly and Courtney and her family go berserk. Even Lottie thinks Courtney should leave Danny in the dust. Outside of Danny’s house, Courtney’s clan shows up to rumble. Again the TLC cameramen bear the brunt of the men’s wrath. Courtney’s dad pulls a blade. The mothers go nose-to-nose. Courtney gets hauled away in a cop car.
Danny goes back to sucking face with Mindy the Stripper.
The double wedding is called off and a month goes by, during which Danny decides he wants Courtney back. With both Lee and Lottie at odds with Danny, Lottie tries to talk some sense into her friend. No deal. Courtney’s half of the wedding is back on no matter what anyone says.
With the rest of her family protesting the union, Courtney gets some unexpected help getting into her enormous dress. Deciding the girl must really love Danny if she would take him back after he strayed, Gail shows up to be a proper mother-in-law. She says Courtney passed her test. And what an icky test it was.
Having lost weight thanks to the stress of the past month’s events, Courtney also needs to be taped into the skirt of her dress to keep it on her. And shoehorned into her ride to the event. When she gets to the adorable little church in the countryside, the poor girl discovers that there are no other guests in attendance besides Danny’s family.
With her neon-green fabric wrist corsage a’flashing, she marries her man anyway and heads off for her long-awaited wedding night. That is, if Danny can find her underneath all that tape.
New episodes of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding air Sunday nights at 9pm/8CT on TLC.