Total Divas episode 3 recap: what we learned about the WWE

Total Divas episode 3 teaches us more about the WWE

I’m Gerry Strauss (@gerrystrauss), I’m a lifelong pro wrestling fan, a freelance writer and, last I checked, I’m a guy. Confession time: I’ve never watched a female-centric reality show before, but I’m going to leap into this with both feet and watch from the point of view of someone who is more Kardashian-centric than Undertaker-friendly. Instead of giving you the play-by-play, let’s look a bit deeper and find out what we REALLY learn each week as we follow the WWE Divas in and out of the ring, starting with …

 

The Bella Twins:  This week’s sisterly saga took a strange turn when Brie announced that she and boyfriend “Bryan “Daniel Bryan” Danielson were planning to move to Phoenix together, slickly moving past last week’s turmoil surrounding Brie’s resistance to leaving California for Bryan’s simple family home in Washington state. Of course, Nikki reacted poorly to this decision, causing some ugly scenes between the two Bellas. Thanksfully, professional good Samaritan (and WWE Champion, by the way) John Cena was able to talk some sense into girlfriend Nikki, allowing her to recognize her own selfish desire to keep Brie nearby. In the end, all was worked out. Whew!

The Funkadactyls: The dancin’ divas largely had their own individual problems to work out this week. Trinity’s relationship with WWE star Jon Uso was put to the test when Jon questioned her commitment (an issue sparked by her refusal to wear her engagement ring). Trinity seemed curiously unsettled by the whole issue, leading to a frustration-fueled in-ring confrontation between the couple during a tag team match that saw her actually take her man to the mat with an unplanned flying headscissors. In the end, the fiery couple reconciled when Trinity revealed that her fear of commitment was caused by her past experiences with an unfaithful boyfriend. That girl sure can move, but can she learn to trust? We’ll have to wait and see.

Meanwhile, Arianne was dealing with her own issues: the sniffles. Worse yet, the antibiotics she’s been taking have caused a yeast infection. You want reality? It doesn’t get much more real than that!

JoJo: For the first time this season, young pixie-like JoJo actually had something to do besides look in on everyone else’s lives.  First, we get a glimpse of her training, where she is shown having difficulty adjusting to the physicality (um, maybe because she only weighs 43 pounds?). A bit later, her previously-unmentioned boyfriend Sebastian visits, but his frustrations with her schedule leads to… you guessed it, drama. He pushes her to choose between her new in-ring career and their relationship, and by the end of the episode, it’s pretty clear that this schmuck is winding up on the losing end of this one.

Nattie: For the second week in a row, poor Nattie was relegated to the supporting role that she complained about in episode #1, but next week’s preview shows us that we’ll get a LOT more of her, as we are about to get an inside look into her longtime relationship with fellow WWE superstar Tyson Kidd… in their house… in her UNDERWEAR! This is truly the stuff that reality-show dreams are made of.

Eva Marie: For the first time so far in this series, the raven-haired newbie was kept completely out of the spotlight, but with a Maxim photo shoot and several appearances on WWE Raw under her belt, don’t expect her on the sidelines for long.

Till next week, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @gerrystrauss or drop me a line with questions or comments below!

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