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Constantine recap episode 5: “Jackass of All Trades”

Has anybody else been wishing Constantine would get around to answering any of the dozens of questions it’s been asking since premiere? How and why can Chas survive a giant hole in his chest? Who is Zed and what’s her problem? Why does everybody on this show love John Constantine even though he’s clearly a jerk? Danse Vaudou might not have answered any of these questions, but it did start to hint at them so hopefully we don’t have long to wait now… The cold open’s murder is of a fashion student having an ironic phone conversation about how not-in-danger […]

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Drama

Constantine Episode 4 recap: A Feast of Moral Questionability

It’s episode four and Constantine just got dark. “A Feast of Friends” takes a classic Hellblazer story, some seriously unsettling imagery, a clichéd take-home message (don’t do drugs, kids!) and starts stepping up to the plate on the series’ potential. Instead of the nameless red shirt we’ve come to expect in the cold open, this week we are introduced to Gary Lester who just got off a plane and is trying his hardest to get through customs even though he’s obviously strung-out. Airport security does an unimpressive job of interrogating him and then breaks his priceless antique jar, unleashing a […]

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Constantine Episode 3 recap: The Devil’s Vinyl

Welcome back, Constantine fans! I’m glad to see you’ve stuck around long enough to give this series a shot. I figure by the time you’ve hit episode three, you might as well finish out the season, right? We’ve had time to introduce all major players in the plot, set the tone, and establish the season’s big arch and now that you’ve all gotten properly invested with me, I say we finish our strong and see if NBC can do this series justice for fans new and old. We cold-open as a pretty blond lady wanders into an abandoned building filled […]

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Drama

Constantine Episode 2 recap: “The Darkness Beneath”

After a promising pilot episode, NBC’s new gritty magic series, Constantine, is on its way to a continent-crossing first season of Heaven vs. Hell. Although the second episode is focused primarily on introducing leading lady, Zed (Angélica Celeya), it also showcases more of Constantine’s power and gives us the sense that the series plans to cover a lot of geographical ground. Although it seems to be settling into a monster-of-the-week theme, they have plenty of time to rise about that and make this the new, groundbreaking show we’ve been waiting for from DC. Before I launch into the recap, we […]

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Competition

Dance Moms finale recap: Chloe’s Final Finale?

Tragedy has struck Dance Moms Nation! We’ve finally made it to Nationals. Everything else led to this episode. But what are we left with now? No longer will adult women appear on our screens to yell at each other about children dancing. No insanely pretty young girls will floor us with their endless talent and amazingly thick skins. Tuesday nights will become meaningless … just another long, boring night of the week with work the next morning! … I may be getting ahead of myself. After all, there’s still the inevitable reunion special next week. And probably at least one […]

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Competition

Dance Moms recap Episode 30: Takin’ It To The Streets

The season is winding down, Dance Moms nation! It’s time for nationals and things are about to get seriously crazy. But before we get into that, let’s take a moment to reflect on the hot messery which has been Season 4… Our faithful Abby brought in a “Select Team” of dancers whom she talented poached from around the country to challenge the Pitt Crew. For the first half of the season, we waited for them, we argued about them and mostly we hated them. When they beat the girls in competition we were worried they might be here to stay. […]

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Competition

Dance Moms recap episode 29: Chloe’s Penultimate Peril

It’s that time of year again, Dance Moms Nation. The ALDC dance concert is on and it’s going to be cutthroat this year! The Pitt Crew plus Sarah (of CWAY CWAY fame) and Kamryn from the Select Team are all lined up for pyramid, which is predictable, as always. Chloe hits bottom (this time for missing a day of rehearsal to get an MRI on her foot), even though Kendall was the one who couldn’t win a competition even with Maddie choreography. Nia finally makes it to the top after her Maya Angelou-inspired win and all the girls give her […]

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Competition

Dance Moms 28 recap: Know Your Worth

Are you still on the edge of your seat after last week’s dramatic episode ender, Dance Moms Nation? If you’re looking for any sort of resolution, you’re not going to find it here, but you will find increasing drama at every turn. The girls fail to line up for pyramid on time because the moms have decided to confront Abby about her behavior for the billionth time this season. To recall last week, the moms (spearheaded by Holly) decided to obviously count how many times Abby criticized each individual child on a whiteboard. It went about as well as you’d […]

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Drama

Constantine: NBC drama brings the hellfire from its premiere episode

Constantine NBC Premieres: Oct. 24 Airs: Fridays at 10pm Who’s In It? Matt Ryan, Emmett Scanlan, Lucy Griffiths, Angelica Celaya Look at you. You’re an average, busy person. You wouldn’t count yourself a “nerd” necessarily, but yeah, you read some comics as a kid, you went as Batman that one Halloween and sure, you saw The Avengers in theaters. But who didn’t? “So, what’s up with this Constantine thing?” you ask yourself, not unreasonably. And we, the super nerds, forgive you for your reasonable ignorance. NBC’s gritty new supernatural drama has a lot to live up to in the eyes […]

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Competition

Dance Moms episode 27 recap: Tick, Tick, Boom

I would like to start today’s Dance Moms recap with a moment of silence for the absent Select Team… Yes, you read that right. After three excruciating weeks of watching the wannabe dance moms parade around our screens like we owe them something, it’s finally time to settle back into the comfortable familiarity of Abby screaming at the Pitt Crew. After last week’s atrocious cultural appropriation (which Abby dared to call a “dance routine”) managed to win, one would hope that leading lady Nia would make the top of the pyramid for the first time in… forever? But alas, no […]