Posted by Ryan

What you are about to read may shock you. It’s a recap of an hourlong Earl episode that actually didn’t suck. After a season that nearly ran the series into ground, the finale episode seems to herald the September return of the Earl we’ve known and loved for the first two seasons.

Earl’s marriage to Billie is already rocky. She’s incredibly annoying, she has severe road rage, she sings badly in the shower … but she has all the money. After Earl blew his savings on the prison prom, Billie is now supporting Earl. And she’s incredibly cheap, especially when it comes to facial tissues. Their marriage has also had some drawbacks for Randy, as he’s now got to sleep outside and get occasionally sprayed by a cat dude. Billie also makes Randy earn his Klondike Bars by dressing as a Girl Scout and selling cookies door to door, and by letting passing motorists throw their trash at him.

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Tags: My Name Is Earl, Recap by Cubicle QB
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Posted by Ryan

Earl and Billie are honeymooning … at the motel where Earl and Randy live. Billie shows Earl the list she’s starting up on her own — and Earl thinks he’s found the perfect woman.

But Earl still doesn’t know much about Billie, and he’s learning that marriage can sometimes be more give than take. He’s got to share his potato chips, his whereabouts must be known to her at all times, and he can forget about peeing in private. Also, the real Van Halen is Van Hagar. So clearly they have their differences, but there’s at least something they’ve got in common: There’s a guy who’s on both their lists.

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Tags: My Name Is Earl, Recap by Cubicle QB
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Posted by Ryan

Earl is out of his coma, and he’s eager to find Billie (Alyssa Milano), because karma says they should be together. Thinking the best way to track down Billie is to find her ex-boyfriend Frank (Michael Rapaport), Earl and Rany go to the halfway house where Frank and his buddy Paco currently live. Frank has to wear a shock collar that goes off when he strays too far from the house. But Paco has his collar removed when he goes to his delivery job at Camden Foreign Foods as Senor Lo Mein (one of Earl’s former jobs). Earl explains that he wants to date Billie, and Frank seems cool with it — but in exchange for helping to find Billie, Earl has to get Frank a job so he can get out of the halfway house.

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Tags: My Name Is Earl, Recap by Cubicle QB
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Posted by Ryan

Yeah, I’m a few days late with the Earl recap. Better late than never, I suppose. But given the quality of this episode, I’m not so sure.

Regrettably, The Hickeys still isn’t canceled. Earl’s now dreaming that he and Billie are old and tired … much like this storyline.

The hospital wants Earl off their hands. So they offer Randy either long-term care for Earl at a county medical facility or a one-time payment of $2,000 in Camden Cash good at four area businesses (one of which is paintball!) if he just takes care of Earl himself. We shouldn’t have to tell you which option Randy chooses.

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Posted by Ryan

Randy is doing items off of Earl’s list, and he picks Ruined Dad’s Vacation. Earl’s parents have been out of it for a while — they don’t know Earl’s been in a coma, and they don’t even know that Earl was in jail.

A few years ago, Earl’s parents were taking a vacation to American Samoa. Reluctantly, they left Randy and Earl in charge of the house. With the liquor cabinet empty and now just merely a cabinet, Earl, Joy and Randy have to make a beer run. In the liquor store parking lot, a shady guy stashes a duffel bag in the back of Earl’s El Camino, hiding it from a patrolling police squad car. While the shady guy is making a phone call, Earl takes off with his duffel.

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Tags: My Name Is Earl, Recap by Cubicle QB
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Posted by Ryan

Earl is still in a coma, and his mind is still playing out The Hickeys sitcom. In it, Earl mistakes Billie’s gynecologist for a gigolo, and Billie gives birth to Earl’s child — who, this time, is actually his own color and looks like him. The Hickeys will hopefully be canceled very soon.

So while Earl is comatose, Randy is going to cross off some list items so Earl stays in karma’s favor. Using Earl’s drool, he selects “Stole a Motorcycle.”

A while ago, while out on a “crime walk,” Earl and Randy found a motorcycle with the keys in it outside the shop of Orange County Choppers. So they took the bike out joyriding, and then tied one on with beer, malt liquor and tequila. They woke up in the back of a school bus the next morning.

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Posted by Ryan

After a brief reintroduction from NBC President and CEO Jeff Zucker, we get back to Earl. (Go here if you need a refresher of the previous episode that aired way back when.)

When Earl was young and wanted to escape family turmoil, he used to get lost in a world of TV sitcoms. Now, unconscious on the street, he’s doing it again, dreaming that he’s married to Billie in The Hickeys idyllic sitcom land. The sitcom isn’t particularly interesting (and hardly funny), though things that happen in reality cause things to happen in the sitcom, like the arrival of the wacky ex-wife Joy and her husband Darnell, Randy in a cowboy outfit and Paris Hilton cooking bacon.

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Posted by Ryan

Nothing stirs up the spirit of the Yule like watching a Christmas-related episode two weeks after Christmas. “Bad Earl” was originally scheduled for Dec. 13, but NBC pushed it way back, probably thinking it was best to not burn a new episode when the ratings probably weren’t going to be good.

Earl is out of prison (prison’s not quite out of him), but he’s finding it hard to celebrate during his release party at the Crab Shack. He has his list back, but he’s doubting the existence of karma. All of his good deeds have brought him nothing but misfortune. The mayor decided to hide the homeless for the holidays in their motel room, and Earl can’t find a job better than a delivery driver for Camden Foreign Foods (now serving gyros!). Making a delivery one day, Ralph (Giovanni Ribisi) answers the door dressed in old-man clothes.

It seems that six months ago, after Ralph escaped from prison in his undies and hitched a ride (and perhaps more) with Gay Kenny, Ralph ended up at the door of an old woman, Doris, who took him in and offered him pants. It seems Doris saved her dead husband’s clothes, and Ralph dressed up in them. Doris confused Ralph for her dead husband Stan, and Ralph realized he’s now on Easy Street. He’s got a sugar grandma!

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Posted by Ryan

I’m the cable repairman. I’m here to turn on your box.

Earl thinks he’s getting out of jail today, but he doesn’t know that the warden shredded Earl’s early release certificates so he’d have to stay in prison and help bail the warden out from his incompetence. When Earl’s about to walk out of the prison a free man, the guard tells Earl that he’s not on the day’s release list. Earl confronts the warden about reneging on their agreement, and the meeting ends with the warden punched in the gut and Earl in solitary confinement.

Earl passes the time in solitary twiddling his thumbs, playing charades by himself, believing he’s a turkey and pretending to conduct an orchestra. Believing he’s broken Earl’s spirit, the warden releases Earl from prison and gives him the task of decorating the prison (electric chair included) for Christmas. Earl decides that it’s time to bust out of there. He enlists Frank, Paco and Randy to help devise an escape plan, and he looks for possible escape routes while he’s going about his Christmas decorating. He spots a hole in a ceiling that might work, and he puts the plan into motion.

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Posted by Ryan

Honk if you know someone on death row.

Earl has only six months and 10 days left on his prison sentence after helping the warden out of several jams. But the warden finds himself in another mess after a press conference embarrassment, and now the warden has to institute an inmate reconciliation program to replace the previous “two men enter, one man leaves” reconciliation program. So again the warden enlists Earl’s help and offers Earl six months off his sentence if he can get an inmate to reconcile with the victims of his crime.

Earl finds a good candidate in John (Shawn Hatosy), an artist who’s in jail for burning his parents’ house down while he was cooking meth in their basement. (John’s art consists entirely of painting people’s faces on animals.)

John’s parents, who are now very into fire protection, come to the prison to meet with John. But John flips out when he’s told that he has to apologize to his parents, not the other way around. Seems that John’s parents were real monsters: They wouldn’t let him have a color TV in his room, they wouldn’t buy him cargo pants and they wouldn’t let him go to his high-school prom because he was too stoned to drive. So John refuses to make up with his parents, unless Earl does something for him: give him the prom he never had.

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Tags: My Name Is Earl, Recap by Cubicle QB
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