People can talk all they want about Britney Spears and Demi Lavato joing The X Factor or whether Jennifer Lopez will be back for a third season of American Idol, but the most relevant judging hire in a very long time was adding Howard Stern to the panel of America’s Got Talent.

That’s both a complment to Stern and a criticsim of his predecessor Piers Morgan, who came across as an elitist  hellbent on making the show about something it wasn’t. Stern comes in realizing that America’s Got Talent is about novelty and finding an act like no other reality program.

Sure, Stern can take some getting used to, but anybody expecting  to see his shock-jock schtick was either going to be sadly disappointed or pleasantly surprised. Sure, there are the token genital references and some inappropriate comments. We knew he wouldn’t be able to completely leave his potty mouth at the stage door, and he made that clear from the beginning.

“These NBC executives must be out of their minds taking a risk on me,” he said after being introduced. “They should be fired immediately.”

The flip side, though, is that he can be very endearing , as evidenced by his comment to a dance group that peformed in the dark with illuminated costumes: “This is going to sound sappy. We are the greatest country in the world. You are everything that makes America great.”

And as refreshing as it was to see Stern show a softer side, it was fortunately the exception rather than the rule. While he has no problem comlimenting good performances, the highlight of his first two shows was watching the quick wit that made him famous.

Here are some of the funnier comments he made this week:

–To a guy wearing tight pants: “I had a lot of hope for you … I was really rooting for you … I wanted to see some magic and all I saw was a guy with his pants off … and a rather small package.”

–To an untalented contestant who said his parents are no longer living: “Did they die  of embarrassment?”

–To a little person in a group of dancers: “The little person in the front there, I love how your buttocks looks in that outfit. It’s perfect.”

–To a man wearing strange makeup and a helmet: “The minute I saw you I knew I was going to hate you.”

–To a teeage boy who performced a balancing act: “I can’t stand that you’re more ripped than me, and you’re only a 17-year-old punk.”

–To a female singer in a skimpy outfit: “The dancing wasn’t good, the singing wasn’t good, but the Supergirl underpants are fantastic.”

–To an overweight male dancer: “I was hoping [fellow judges Howie Mandel and Sharon Osbourne] would hit the buzzer on you, because you looked like you were going to have a heart attack. You would think with this kind of aerobic activity, you’d be a little more svelte.”

Here’s a look at the various specials and movies airing on and around this Memorial Day, which remember those who have served in the military, and particularly those who were lost. All times are Eastern. Programming subject to updates; check back for changes and additions.

My Vietnam Your Iraq (encore) – PBS, May (check local listings). Vietnam War veterans who have children who served in Iraq tell their stories. The program showcases the pride and fear a family shares when one is deployed.

The War (encore) – PBS, May (check local listings). Ken Burns and Lynn Novick’s epic, seven-part 2007 documentary series explores the history and horror of World War II from an American perspective by following the fortunes of so-called ordinary men and women who became caught up in one of the greatest cataclysms in human history.

AMC War Heroes Weekend – AMC, Friday, May 25, at 9am through Monday, May 28, at 10pm. This movie marathon, hosted by Tom Brokaw, is devoted to classic war films and kicks off with A Bridge Too Far, and closes with Flags Of Our Fathers. In between is screened everything from Patton and the 45th anniversary presentation of The Dirty Dozen, to Heartbreak Ridge and Apocalypse Now: Redux, and many more.

TCM Memorial Day Tribute – TCM, Sunday, May 27, at 6:25am through Tuesday, May 29, at 6am. A marathon of war films, including Bataan (1943), The Steel Helmet (1951), The Guns of Navarone (1961), The Green Berets (1968), Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) and more.

National Memorial Day Concert 2012 – PBS, May 27, Live at 8pm (replay 9:30pm). Gary Sinise and Joe Mantegna again co-host this annual concert from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol. It’s a night of remembrance featuring an all-star lineup of dignitaries, actors and musical artists in performance with the National Symphony Orchestra. Featured during the concert will be Trace Adkins, Daughtry, Natalie Cole, Jessica Sanchez, Ellen Burstyn, Dennis Franz, Selma Blair, Russell Watson and Colin Powell.

Watch 2012 Concert Promo on PBS. See more from National Memorial Day Concert.

“Movie Hero” Marathon – Antenna TV, May 28 at 5am through May 29 at 11am. A marathon of war films featuring movie heroes such as Humphrey Bogart, Sidney Poitier, James Stewart and Ronald Reagan. Films include Hellcats of the Navy (1957), Sahara (1943), King Rat (1965) and more.

Witness: G.I. Homecoming – National Geographic Channel, May 28 at 10pm. This special reveals the emotional stories behind the caught-on-tape surprise homecomings of U.S. service men and women, videos that have spawned their own popular sub-genre on video-sharing sites like YouTube. Weaving together home movies, war zone footage shot by the soldiers themselves and original, first-person accounts, the program tells the stories of the families’ journeys up to the moment of their unforgettable reunions. An older brother who makes it his mission to attend his sister’s college graduation; a husband who has left behind his wife and four young children; and a Navy airman who has the chance to surprise her family in front of a stadium full of Red Sox fans are among the stories told.

Independent Lens: “Hell and Back Again” – PBS, May 28 at 10pm; May 31 at 10pm. Nominated for a Best Documentary Oscar, this film tells the story of what it means to come home from war — injured physically and psychologically — and build a life anew. Filmed and directed by Danfung Dennis, the documentary transitions from stunning war reportage to an intimate, visceral portrait of one man’s struggle back home in North Carolina. There, Sergeant Nathan Harris, with the love and support of his wife, Ashley, confronts the physical and emotional difficulties of readjusting to civilian life.

Watch Oscar-Nominated Hell and Back Again Comes to PBS on PBS. See more from Independent Lens.

Coming Home – Lifetime, May 30 at 9pm. Lifetime’s award-winning docuseries about U.S. armed service members’ surprise family reunions returns with new episodes. In the first new one, airing just after Memorial Day, Sesame Street‘s Elmo and Rosita travel all the way to Fort Bliss, Texas, to put together a surprise for the children of an Army sergeant who are having an especially hard time with their father’s deployment in Iraq.

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Independent Lens: “Hell and Back Again” — Courtesy of Danfung Dennis

Witness: G.I. Homecoming — Credit Mindy Lewis

Good Lord, people, if you are not following the individual Dance Moms on Twitter, you totally should. Despite their longwinded brouhahas in the Mom Room, those women can throw down in 140 characters or less. I’m not even sure when they are pretending just to get us to tune in anymore. It’s as good a show as the show, sometimes.

Speaking of which, let’s get to recapping, shall we?

• Missed the episode? Watch it online now for free!

Victor could not be happier with the way last week’s Access Broadway performances went. Angel could. Angel! Really? What?! Everybody won. Like, everybody should be on top of The List. One big pile of winners.

Nope. This:

Lucas is at the top because his leeeeeerve duet with Kimmy was the among the highest scoring dances in the entire competition. That better mean Kimmy’s in second.

Kimmy is second, not tied for first with Lucas because she still has to learn to let go and get her artist on. It ain’t going to happen, boys and girls. Can we just let go of the idea of Kimmy letting go and let her be the technical little soldier that she is?

Third is Jesse — she did phenomenal, but for two little twerpies to beat out the older dancers is unacceptable to Angel and Victor. First and first is not beating. It’s everybody winning. Three-way tie for the top, say I. Or retire the list  —  I can make a list of reasons why. The first of which is that it will shave a good 4-5 inches off the length of these recaps.

Whoa, early Dance Moms Fashion Moment — for Susan and these earrings.

At first I thought Susan was feeling girlish and had her hair in pigtails. Then I remembered that — unless she’s got one of Mayra’s wigs on loan — Susan’s hair is not long enough for pigtails. I looked again. Clavicle-dusting feather earrings the color of her hair. I’m a fan. Of the sweater, too. Two thumbs, a bunch of feathers and a scoop neck up!

Fourth on the list is Sammy. Seems she blended into the group way too much. I’m just one big ball of confusion today. We want a bunch of dancers going rogue and flashy during a group dance? I clearly have so much left to learn.

Fifth is Hannah. Her solo — which won her division — was called “Be Happy For Me,” and still she cried. I’m sorry, but I object. Her solo won. It stood out. From other solos. Sammy blended and was solo-free and she’s one slot ahead? So much left to learn.

In keeping with the usual machinations of The List, Lucas gets a solo. Kimmy gets a solo. The rest of the girls will be doing a trio. Victor and Angel clearly have a masochistic streak. Pocahontas-cessory (who apparently learned nothing about Vic and Angel’s professional moxie from Jessi’s first-place win for last week’s “non-technical” solo) is so put out by this latest audacity that she storms out of the room. Seems Hannah is just fine to dance with Sammy, but not with Jessi. Mismatched skill levels, says she, even though they’ve all been doing seamless group dances for ages. Ones in which everyone blends, just ask Sammy.

Angel ain’t having anymore of this Hannah = Disaster crap and puts Jessi on notice straightaway: They like her a lot, but if Susan keeps acting up, there’s going to be hell to pay — and there ain’t no list for the mamas. So next time Susan walks out, Jessi goes with her — and neither is welcome back.

Angel and Victor are so confident in this match-up that they opine that it is, in fact, Hannah’s character that will take the trio to the next level. Sammy says that Hannah is nice, she really doesn’t mind working with her and she believes that the boys made a fine choice in the grouping. Good girl, Sammy. Could you tell your mother? And Jessi’s?

Since staying in the home state worked so well last week, we’ll be doing it again — Starbound in Fort Meyers. Ohhhhh, Victor just said “Who is the bomb dot com.” As in, “It’s our turn to show everyone who is the bomb dot com.” You are, Victor. Just for saying it. I don’t care if you didn’t even invent it. It’s the first time I’ve heard it and for that, you’s the bomb. Dot com. Backslash mega.

• RELATED: CGM’s exclusive interview with Victor Smalley

This week’s group number is in the open category, which means there are no rules. Since I didn’t know the rules in the first place, they could get anything by me — and what they’re getting by me this time is a “Twisted Circus.” Angel wants to take their style to a whole different dimension. A twisted one.

Speaking of a circus (or, perhaps, a whole different dimension), the mothers retreat to the Mom Room — which allows Victor to be happy again dot com — and Debi promptly starts howling about Hannah being at the bottom of the list. Ridiculous, says she, and I’d have to agree. But I’ve chosen to look on the bright side because I’m like that. Of all the weeks for Hannah to be on the bottom, this is probably as good as any, because spots three through five are all doing the same dance anyway. So there ya go! The rest is just technicality. And besides, Little Miss Trouble calmly reminds Deb that last week when Hannah had a solo she was the happiest of campers and, hence, she should kindly quit raining on this week’s parents-of-soloists’ parade.

Pretty sure Debi is telling Little Miss Trouble to march her parade where the sun can’t shine on it, but I am distracted by another Dance Moms Fashion Moment. Debi is wearing a black version of the heavily-hardwared leather wristband of a few weeks back. She DOES do Renaissance Faires on weekends, I know it! Or maybe some backyard falconry. Also, I’m starting to suspect that this hour may be one for the record books where Dance Moms Fashion Moments are concerned.

Speaking of which, if you were a fan of the Pitt Crew’s cold-shoulder shirts and mastodon-fur vests, let me apologize right now for my small part in their disappearance when Dance Moms returns June 5.

Actually, I’m not sorry that at least one Dance Mom is willing to avoid them. I’m just sorry if you’re sorry. Eh, no I’m not. Good on ya, Christi! Or not on ya, as the case may be. I die to see what’s new in Pittsburgh fashion.

Victor hates clowns. Also, he has seen the circus done to death at dance competitions, but since his is going to be twisted, sisters, he isn’t worried about that one bit. To accomplish this, Hannah will be a gypsy fortune teller. Because I am very knowledgeable about gypsies now thanks to TLC, I can’t help but wonder which kind — English or Irish or Romany or what. I hope Sondra Celli does her costume.

Sammy is going to be a contortionist — which inspires her to do this (and my husband to make perhaps the most interesting noise of his Dance Moms-watching career. Which is saying a lot.):

Lucas — who is wearing the mystery-message t-shirt that readers Tiffany and Kathy weighed in as meaning either Stars Dance (Hot to Trot) or Stars Dancer (Head to Toe) — will be a mime, which suits him fine because he likes to act. Like a wall. It appears he has been practicing.

Jessi will be the ringleader of this circus, which, by virtue of being Susan’s daughter, I’m sure she’s been practicing, too. And Kimmy will be the little girl who is seeing the circus for the very first time. Everyone is terribly excited by how adorable Kimmy is sure to be in this role, but Kimmy was hoping for something a little more, you know, twisted. Atta girl, Kimmy!

Jebus … you could fold Sammy up and put her in a shoebox and the child wouldn’t flinch. When I was that age, I had bones.

Since no one has come  rushing into the hallway to comfort Susan — Mayra must’ve had the day off — she takes her crabby-face and steers it back toward the Mom Room. Do NOT mistake that for her being OK, because she’s NOT. Also, she is NOT going to sugarcoat the fact that Jessi is in a no-win situation with her as a mother  with those plebeian pirouetters as dance partners. She is also not going to shut up about it any time soon. Debi’s turn to leave the room, with Susie calling “Bye-sies” behind her.

With her primary enemy vanquished, Susan  decides to make one more stab at convincing Jessi that it is a privilege to dance with her and that Hannah has not earned that privilege. Jessi, who is my hero, informs her that, once agaaaaaain, she doesn’t even know what the hell Victor and Angel have in mind yet. Hannah is her sister and her knuckle-bumpin’ bud. Game, set, match, tourney — Jessi. But watch your swears, dear. You’re just 14. I’m 46, so I get to.

Oh right on! We’re going to the circus, for real. Well, circus practice. Not sure what circus, exactly. Wait! Looks like Miami actually has itself a “circus arts school” right here in town! Not only that, but Lucas has huge circus potential. “He’s bendy as could be!” exclaims the circus school owner lady. He certainly is:

Jessi also shows enormous potential on the silks. That’s these:

And yes, she’s enjoying that, even though I would spot her a whole host of swears for finding herself in such a predicament.

Victor gives us what he calls circus realness on the lyra. According to Angel, “circus realness” = “a dead pear on crack.” I don’t think I heard that right. Dead parrot on crack? It would make more sense. Well, as much as it could.

Also, owwwwwwww on all accounts. The hubster may not even make it through this episode for all his pain noises. I hope not. The extracurricular sound effects are outstanding. Especially his impersonation of Kimmy. For a 6’1″ burly dude, he does a spot-on teeny-weeny nine-year-old girl.

Speaking of the Kimmer, Kimmy’s solo is called Flying Solo and will be all about letting go and being yourself. Ani likes her just the way she is. Me too, Ani. Me too.

The trio will called Speak in Silence, which I’m 423 percent sure is because Victor wishes the girls’ mothers would do that beginning several years ago. Yep, that’s what it’s about, all right. Whoop! Victor pulled a crahgraphy-related funny on Hannah that actually made the surly mommies stop their crabbing and laugh out loud. Because he’s the bomb dot com!

Trying to ride this wave of levity a little further, Debi tells Susan that she’s proud of Jessi and a champion of her journey. Susan takes it gracefully and the two hug it out. Lori just pulled a funny on the readers! Susan did no such thing. She flipped her s–t the way she usually flips her s–t and loud enough that Hannah can hear them tear into each other anew. The little girl dissolves into tears. Victor takes the kids outside to Dance in Silence while Angel is dipatched to handle the ruckus, with Mayra — whose hairdo is a long, dark auburn, kinda-sorta ponytail that merits no further discussion — in tow. As Mayra looks on earnestly, Angel informs the mothers that in order to gain re-admittance to the Mom Room you have to apologize AND behave yourself. I do not like Susan’s odds.

Aaaaaand Hubby Rik is currently double high-fiving the air over the newest Dance Moms preview. I was typing about Susan and missed it. He proves astoundingly unhelpful where identifying exactly which face Abby was “yelling right smack into!” is concerned. “A Dance Mom face?” he says hopefully. To him, the world o’ Dance Moms is blissfully simple: Abby Lee … and whomever Abby Lee is yelling at. Double high-five to nobody!

Yay! Angel has props for the group dance! Not, like, “you go, little dancers!” props. Like, stuff. Kimmy gets four-de-four black balloons floating in the studio sky. Hannah gets tarot cards. Jessi gets a whip thingie to burst the Kimmer’s balloons.

And speaking of bursting balloons, Abby would like practice to end because she has an hour drive home and Sammy’s got homework. Mayra is dispatched to deliver this news to the gents. The gents do not take it well. If one prima donna driver has to leave, then everyone can leave, says Angel. The mothers don’t take it well either. Susan — who has plucked some white birdies for her earrings today — leads the beeyotch chorale, which has an encore performance the very next day.

Meanwhile, Lucas practices his solo with Ricky, one of Stars’ senior dancers. The two could be brothers. They look alike. They move alike. I have seen your future, Lucas, and it looks like Ricky. The solo is awesome, but Lucas still looks blue. Aw geez. Seems the boys at school are calling him gay because he dances. Victor tells him that at the end of the day, dance is more important than big-mouth bullies and he should ignore those losers and dance on. I say he should tell the bullies to Google the love lives of Derek Hough or Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Then I hug Victor hard with my mind.

Susan has declared herself Supreme Overlord of the Trio and says that if it looks bad, it will not be performed and too bad for you guys, Debi and Abby. Way to teach followthrough and teamwork, there, Suze. Brava. Just to keep it fresh, though, she decides that said impending disaster is no longer Hannah’s fault — or  even Debi’s. It is Abby’s. Now that there’s a bandwagon Debi can jump on! And it’s Abby’s turn to storm out of the room.

Off to Fort Meyers we go for a chance to redeem ourselves at Starbound, which I don’t remember us going to yet, but apparently we did. Oh yes. We did. In California. Back when we were insecure.

Lucas will go first. His solo, Denial, has Victor written all over it. He’s bendy AND stretchy. The mothers are banished to the Imaginary Cheering Section of Solitude again, which continues to drive me nuts. Next season, I hope they get loosed with the general population. But the happy ending is that Lucas likes his performance so much that he feels like he’s in Candy Land.

Little Kim’s turn. Here’s what I love about you most, Dance Moms: Miami — we get to see everyone’s dances from start to finish. Kimmy’s is lovely and she emotes with all her might, but she’s not so sure about it once she’s done. Neither is Angel. He says she still needs to come “out of her shelf.”

Meanwhile backstage, Susan is still threatening to pull Jessi from the trio that she still has not seen. Fair enough, says Victor — you pull her from my trio; I pull her from the group number. Two dances minus two dances equals zero dances for Jessi. Do the math, lady. Instead, lady prattles on about all the studios that approach her at competitions, clamoring for Jessi to join their ranks. And if Victor and Angel tear Jessi apart for what happens in the trio she hasn’t seen, she will tear them apart, believe it. Angel says that he is not afraid of Susan in a way that makes me believe that Angel is not afraid of anything at all. Especially when it has to do with the studio that he owns. One that has a TV show attached to it.  I hug Angel hard with my mind.

With one in the loss column, Susan teeters out to make a half-hearted stab at getting Jessi to abdicate the studio her ownself. You don’t need me to tell you that Jessi turns on her heel and heads in by the other dancers, telling Susan over her shoulder that she will not let her team and or her teachers down. So let’s see how it goes.

The spacing is perhaps a little iffy, but everything else seems to go swimmingly and the girls hug it out when the trio is over. In the Imaginary Cheering Section of Solitude, Victor is dressed like a big-boy version of Lucas’ mime and the moms look like they want to throw up. Mostly on each other.  Still, Jessi fires up another swear to explain that she thinks it went pretty damn good.

Kimmy’s solo gets fifth. She didn’t think it was fifth-place bad.
Lucas gets first and is thuh-rilled.
The trio gets a perfectly respectable second. Here’s how excited Susan is about that:

Group dance time. Anybody remember Candy Apples’ Ode to a Clown? Whoopsie. Sammy just dropped Kimmer like a bad habit. Remember when Taylor busted up her ankle during Ode to a Clown? I would like to posit that perhaps circus-themed dances are hazardous. Moving forward let’s just leave the clowns alone. You don’t like them anyway, Victor.

Despite the dancer-on-dancer fumble, the performance gets first and the A V Club boogies for joy. But backstage, Sammy sends up Kimmy up the river and said that Kim was late performing her penché and apparently Sammy only had so much time to lift her. She looks terribly pleased with this explanation. Lucas comes to the rescue of his partner and pal and whispers in Ani’s ear that it simply isn’t true. Ani admires his devotion, but says nothing aloud. It happened, it’s over, Kimmy’s still alive and the dance did fine.

Never one to leave well enough alone, Little Miss Trouble decides to say aloud what her little dancer spoke in silence and suggests to the contortionist that she’s contorted the truth. Sammy goes momentarily outer limits. Holy volume, Sammy! Making it loud does not make it true. You, too, Abby. And suddenly forsaking good grammar don’t make you tough, neither.

Abby grabs Sammy and heads for the door, “No, YOUR kid’s a liar”-ing at Brigette all the way out. Looks like they could be gone for good, even, because they’re nowhere to be found in next week’s preview. Plus, the group dance theme is abandonment.

And without Abby to gang up on, Debi, Susan and LMT have no one to yell at but each other. Like so.

I’ll be back next week, come hell — which is for sure — or high water, and I hope that you will, too. Until then, to quote the oh-so-quotable: “Bye-sies!”

New episodes of Dance Moms: Miami air Tuesday nights at 1opm ET/PT on Lifetime.

Images and video: Lifetime

My fellow lovers of The Blue Lagoon, if you’ve never quite recovered from the sight of Christopher Atkins in a loincloth — even after 30-plus years — Lifetime has a boatload of good news.

On June 16, the network will premiere its original movie, Blue Lagoon: The Awakening — a modern-day take on the infamous coming-of-age-on-an-island story — and our still-handsome boy is a part of it!

According to a release issued by Lifetime, Atkins will play Mr. Christiansen, a teacher who helps in the hunt for Emma and Dean. No, not Emmeline and Richard — Emma and Dean, an overachieving high-school girl and underachieving boy (played by Home and Away‘s Indiana Evans and Brenton Thwaites) who end up on a deserted island after falling off a boat during a wild party on their class trip to Trinidad. (Class trip to Trinidad?! Man, I went the wrong high school.)

The cast also includes Denise Richards (Anger Management) as Emma’s mom, who never stops believing that she’ll see her girl again.

Blue Lagoon: The Awakening premieres Saturday, June 16 at 8pm ET/PT on Lifetime.

Animal Planet recently announced that Call of the Wildman, starring Ernie Brown Jr. (a.k.a. “Turtleman”) would be back with new episodes on Sundays starting June 3. The network recently gave some details about what some of the first few episodes will be about, and they sound very interesting, to say the least. In one, Turtleman meets “Hogman” in Louisiana, and the two search for wild hogs. And in another, Turtleman becomes a prized bid at a charity bachelor auction!

“Coal Mine Creature” — June 3, 10pm. When a beaver begins chewing up the wooden support beams of a rural coal mine, Turtleman gets the call. When he arrives, Turtleman realizes the beaver means business. Later, a tornado rips through the countryside, resulting in a runoff of lethal chemicals in a turtle-filled pond, leading Turtleman on a rescue mission to save the snappers.

“The Killer at Shaker Village” — June 3, 10:30pm. Kentucky’s Shaker Village features a sanctuary for migrating birds. But when the birds mysteriously begin to disappear, Turtleman suspects some sort of blood sacrifice. He and his crew must identify the critter responsible for the attacks and remove it to a safer location. Later, a Kentucky family enlists Turtleman to save its home from a pair of flying squirrels.

“Mayhem Mansion” — June 10, 10pm. A hedgehog turns up dead at a local petting zoo, when the only shred of evidence a pair of tooth marks on its neck. Turtleman must seek out the vampire-like perpetrator and restore the petting zoo as a haven for children. Then, local realtors planning an elaborate open house for a historic Kentucky  mansion are unaware of a possum on the property with a passion for pastries. Can Turtleman catch the vermin before guests arrive?

“The Bachelor” — June 10, 10:30pm. The Second Chances charity bachelor auction has a special treat for its bidders when Turtleman shows up as the prize of the party. Three lucky ladies pool their money and win a date with Turtleman, but of course, it’s no ordinary dinner and a movie. After taking a quick call about a pesky skunk raiding a local honey farm, Turtleman meets the three women for an afternoon out at one of his favorite haunts — a pond full of vicious snapping turtles.

(June 17 episodes TBA)

“New Orleans Live Action” — June 24, 10pm. Turtleman is back in Louisiana, and he’s teaming up with John “Hogman” Schmidt to tackle a wild hog problem. Hogman’s client, Tommy, is a real-estate developer dedicated to continuing the city’s recovery following Hurricane Katrina; however, wild hogs are posing a direct threat to one of the properties. Turtleman is called in to ensure the area is hog-free and safe for families with small children. Later, at the southern tip of Lousiana, shrimper Big Sexy needs Turtleman’s help with a pack of mangy muskrats. Preventing him from setting sail, and threatening his livelihood, the critters are chewing his boat’s wiring.

RELATED: OUR CHAT WITH TURTLEMAN 

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Credit: Animal Planet

History and Original Media — the company that produces Swamp People for the network — released a joint statement:

“We are extremely saddened to report that our friend and beloved member of the Swamp People family, Mitchell Guist, has passed away earlier today. Mitchell passed on the swamp, doing what he loved. We appreciate your respect for the Guist family’s privacy and hope you join us in sending our thoughts and prayers to his brother, Glenn, and the rest of the Guist family.”

Take a pass on the greasy bacon burger and fries!

Americans are truly getting fatter. Obesity is now one of our country’s most pressing health issues with more than two-thirds of U.S. adults age 20 and over being either overweight or obese. Equally staggering is the fact that nearly one-third of our nation’s children and adolescents age 2 to 19 are also overweight or obese. Obesity-related health costs are around $147 billion annually.  The only good news in all of this is that the award-winning HBO is making its multipart documentary series on this topic, The Weight of the Nation, available for free to everyone at their website hbo.com/theweightofthenation.

The docuseries kicks off tonight on HBO at 8pm ET/PT with the episode “Consequences,” immediately followed by “Choices” at 9:10pm ET/PT; and continues on Tuesday, May 15 with “Children in Crisis” at 8pmET/PT followed by “Challenges” at 9:10pm ET/PT. In addition, the first of the three-part series “The Weight of the Nation for Kids: The Great Cafeteria Takeover” debuts Wednesday, May 16 at 7pm. The films will air on HBO, HBO  On Demand, HBO Go  and will be available to stream  free of charge on HBO.com.

The series aims to shed light on the growing obesity epidemic and the economic and social impact associated with it. “It costs $1,400 more a year to care for someone who is obese,” says Thomas R. Frieden, MD, MPH, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “We’re going to face steadily increasing health care costs, as well as more lives lost to type 2 diabetes, heart disease, many cancers and other complications from obesity.”

While the films demonstrate the severity of obesity, they also highlight the groundwork for the societal transformation that is needed to slow and eventually reverse its prevalence and bring our nation to a healthier weight. “If we don’t succeed in turning this epidemic around, we are going to face, for the first time in our history, a situation where our children are going to live shorter lives than we do,” says NIH director Francis S. Collins, MD, PhD.

That said, the initiative extends far beyond just the docuseries. It’s a major public awareness campaign that encourages people to take action and provides the framework to do so. The project is a collaboration between many including HBO, the Institute of Medicine, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the National Institutes of Health, the Michael & Susan Dell Foundation and Kaiser Permanente. In addition to the films, there’s been a nationwide dissemination of screening kits (14 films and discussion guides in English and Spanish) to more than 40,000 community-based organizations (including libraries, schools,  doctor’s offices and public health departments),  as well as a marketing campaign focused on providing healthy options at school, an online and social media presence, and a book published by St. Martin’s Press. The aforementioned kits are also available  to download at the initiatives campaign website – hbo.com/theweightofthenation. Plus, the “Take Action” section of the site provides resources for a healthier life including details on 75 simple steps  people can take to  improve their health, pledge statements that ask participants to commit to curbing obesity by participating in acts from planting a garden to walking more to eating a healthy breakfast.

This is an excellent wake up call that not only details the facts but provides the solutions.

The film is about Luke (Barry Watson), a young philanthropist trying to save the summer camp of his youth, and Zoe (Mia Kirshner), the girl who haunts his camp memories, representing the development firm that’s trying to wheedle it away from him. Engvall’s role is of Zoe’s father, though they’re largely estranged since her parents’ divorce.

It’s a small part in the film, Engvall admits, but it’s one that he feels is very integral to the theme and story of Kiss at Pine Lake. “She’s kind of gotten caught up in the business world, the hustle and bustle of it. She’s trying to get back to where she [once was]. … If you’ve ever done a puzzle, you get to a certain point when you’re missing a couple of pieces, the picture’s not complete. And I was one of the two pieces of the puzzle that she needed to get rectified and found, and placed in their position for her life to be complete.

“I don’t care what kind of relationship you have with your parents,” he continues, “as we get older, toward the ends of our lives, and as we become adults and move on into our senior years or something, you almost tend to go back home. It’s like, everything’s great, but if I don’t have a father, or I don’t have a mother, or a relationship with them, it’s still not quite complete. And it’s a very important part, because I think, no matter what your age is, you still want to maintain that connection to your family roots.”

For Engvall, who has made a career out of pointing out the humor in his own family life, this connection to family roots was central to how he approached his role in Kiss at Pine Lake. “When I was young, my parents got divorced, which was what I called upon in this role,” he explains. “As a child, when your parents get divorced, you’re not quite sure what the circumstances are. You just know that Mom’s leaving or Dad’s leaving, and you don’t understand why they’re leaving. And while there may be very legitimate reasons, you still have to have that relationship.”

Even as Engvall branches out into the world of Hallmark Channel in Kiss at Pine Lake with a more dramatic-styled role, he’s also diversifying in another new direction. As we spoke, he was about to head out the door to a meeting with the people at History.

“I’m doing a show there called Back In My Day,” he says. “It’s a pilot we’re going to shoot — me and a guy named Reno Collier. … I pitched this idea out to the History Channel about ‘Whatever happened to drive-in movies? And parking? Electric football games?’ I feel like our country has gotten so — what’s the word? — electronic. Kids and entertainment today, it’s all prepackaged for them in this little box. When I was a kid, you had to make your own fun. You had to go ride your bike. You played in the dirt. You did this and that. I think it’s a show people would watch, because it gives them that kind of trip down memory lane — like, ‘Oh, my God — I remember when we used to go to the A&W Root Beer stand and the girls would come out on roller skates. We’d get a root beer float; or going parking with my girlfriend, where you’d just kiss for hours — and that was enough.’ And so I think it’ll stir some nostalgic feelings in people.”

Kiss at Pine Lake debuts on Hallmark Channel this Saturday, May 19 at 8pm ET/PT.

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Photo: ©2012 Crown Media Holdings, Inc.  Credit: Katie Yu

An all-female cast stars in GOLF CHANNEL’s Big Break Atlantis beginning Monday, May 14, at 9pm ET.

An all-female cast competes in the 17th edition of the Big Break golf skills competition series, filmed this time at Atlantis resort in the Bahamas. Twelve women at different stages of their golf careers vie for a 2012 LPGA tournament exemption, cash and other prizes in Big Break Atlantis, beginning Monday, May 14, at 9pm ET. This season introduces a new format and features surprise guest appearances, including a visit from top-ranked LPGA pro Yani Tseng.

Profiles of Big Break Atlantis competitors from GOLF CHANNEL below:

Anya Alvarez (22, Pittsburgh, Pa.) – A fiery competitor on the course, Alvarez has overcome enormous odds off the course. A rookie on the Symetra Tour in 2012, Alvarez qualified and made the cut in the 2011 U.S. Women’s Open in her first attempt. She is an outspoken activist and public speaker on raising awareness of sexual abuse.

Shannon Fish (23, Spring, Texas) –Fish turned professional in 2011 following graduation from the University of Texas, posting four top-4 finishes on the Cactus Tour in her rookie year. An intense competitor, she was introduced to the game as a child by her mother and one of the game’s all time greats – Jackie Burke.

Natalia Ghilzon (21, Windsor, Ontario) – One of the most athletic competitors on the series, Ghilzon will look to follow in the same footsteps as fellow Windsor native David Byrne, who won the series 15th season – Big Break Indian Wells. After overcoming wrist injuries, Ghilzon enters 2012 healthy and with a new found confidence.

Meghan Hardin (19, Lake Arrowhead, Calif.) – The youngest female competitor in the history of Big Break at age 19, Hardin turned professional just prior to the filming of the series, foregoing her final two years of collegiate golf. A part-time model, Hardin will begin her professional golf career in 2012, competing in Cactus Tour and mini-tour events.

Selanee Henderson (25, Temecula, Calif.) – A tough competitor on and off the course, Henderson is looking to capitalize on her success on the 2011 Cactus Tour (one win and one runner-up finish) to Big Break Atlantis. A natural athlete, Selanee also is the younger sister of former Olympic wrestler and current MMA fighter Dan Henderson.

Marcela Leon (31, Orlando, Fla. / Monterrey, Mexico) – The most experienced competitor in the series, Leon has competed on the Symetra Tour for the past nine years, with five career top-10 finishes and one runner-up finish. She is competing a full-schedule on the 2012 Symetra Tour.

Aubrey McCormick (29, Arlington, Va.) – A free spirit, McCormick hung up the golf clubs in 2011 after struggling on the Symetra Tour and other mini-tour circuits. After working in an office environment, McCormick rediscovered her passion for the game and is beginning 2012 with a fresh outlook on golf.

Allison Micheletti (24, Scottsdale, Ariz.) – Daughter of former professional hockey player and current New York Rangers television analyst Joe Micheletti, Allison is a late bloomer to the game of golf, switching to the game at age 17 following a knee injury that sidelined her basketball career. Currently dating professional golfer Martin Kaymer, Micheletti will compete on the Cactus Tour and select Symetra Tour events in 2012.

Zakiya Randall (20, Atlanta, Ga.) – Golfer, model and music producer, Randall turned professional just prior to the filming of Big Break Atlantis, and is determined to make a name for herself in professional golf. Nicknamed “Z,” Randall will look to make a statement on the series with her golf game and her fashion.

Gloriana Soto (25, Windermere, Fla. / San Jose, Costa Rica) – The first female professional golfer from Costa Rica to compete in the United States, Soto turned professional immediately following graduation from Texas Tech in 2010, and is scheduled to play a full schedule on the Symetra Tour in 2012.

Christina Stockton (24, Rocklin, Calif.) – Daughter of LPGA teaching professional Becky Herbert Stockton, golf was introduced to Christina at a young age. A four-time all conference player at the University of San Francisco and a part-time model, she turned professional in 2011 and will compete on the Symetra Tour, Cactus Tour and Canadian Women’s Tour in 2012.

Kelly Villarreal (29, Birmingham, Ala.) – Nicknamed “The Real Deal,” Villarreal is anticipating Big Break Atlantis to be her comeback story. She is giving professional golf another go after giving up on her dreams to compete on the LPGA Tour for a medical sales career five years ago.

Photos: Credit: Mark Ashman/GOLF CHANNEL

Bill Clinton joins David Feherty for an interview on GOLF CHANNEL’s Feherty on Monday, May 14, at 10pm ET.

Former president Bill Clinton joins David Feherty on Monday, May 14, at 10pm ET for an interview on GOLF CHANNEL’s Feherty.

“I absolutely love the man,” Feherty told us in an interview earlier this year. “I’ve met him before. I would call myself very liberal in social terms and only conservative in a couple of areas: homeland defense and the military, that’s about it. I’m really looking forward to that. He’s just such a likable person. And I think a lot of people that didn’t agree with his policies begrudgingly just have to like him anyway.”

In this candid interview, Clinton discusses everything from the stress of the presidency, his love of golf and his dream foursome, to his childhood and what it would be like for him if his wife Hillary was ever elected president.