Does anyone else besides me remember how we were feeling when we reached the eleventh episode of Season 1? The Maddie-versus-Chloe showdown had reached a fever pitch, with the two duking it out onstage in a stunner of a Black Swan duet, battling for solo supremacy, and about to face off in the competition of their lives. No, not Nationals. Noooo, not for a spot in the Joffrey ballet school. Not even for the top of the all-hallowed pyramid. Nay, they were throwing down for a spot in a music video for a girl namedÂ Lux! Turns out we were talking [...]
Does this mean we can be done with shows about Jill now? That Kendall can dance, happily, supported, victorious and unhindered by her motherâ€™s ego? That Nia can dance happily and supported, victorious and unpunished for her motherâ€™s work-life balance? That this show can actually become an eensy-peensy bit about dance again instead of the low blows of high-heeled moms? Iâ€™m guessing no on all accounts, but a girl can dream. Because I want my old Dance MomsÂ back. The ones who ultimately played yakky but reasonably harmless second fiddles to their joyfully dancing daughters.Â I want to believe that at least [...]
By Lori Acken Follow @ChannelGuideLLA Do I trust this video to still be in this cyber-spot when I wake up in the morning? No. No I do not. But in any case, here’s what we have to look forward to tomorrow night, Dance Mom fans and spectators. Cathy versus Abby and a nice little air-slap/talk-to-the-hand mutation. I’ll be back to blog as usual on Thursday.
Oh you crafty, crafty Lifetime people! You’re finally onto me. You’ve finally figured out that I watch each premiere episode of Dance Moms pen and paper free in order to stay deeply in touch with my own personal moments of elation and revulsion, to track the number of times my husband drapes himself over the back of the sofa, gapemouthed, to watch … and mostly to save my hands for holding a beer and a bowl of ice cream, which just go really well with Dance Moms. Come morning, I return to the online episode to fill in exact quotes, [...]
By Lori Acken Follow @ChannelGuideLLA With no advance warning (unless I was still reeling from LaQueefa when it happened) the gang is now â€” SURPRISE! â€” on a multi-city tour that begins in Orlando. Well sort of. We’re pretty sure that everybody is physically in the Sunshine State. But, Chloe will not be dancing solo, says Abby Lee, because, while she was happy with last week’s fourth place finish, Christi was not. Christi looks like she’s going to choke.Â Chloe looks philosophical in an, “Oh well, at least I can just sit on my doopa to lose to Maddie this week” [...]
Welcome to the wildly uncomfortable racial-profiling edition of Dance Moms, dance fans. We’ve already done sexually inappropriate and emotionally inappropriate to death, and we did death last week, so heaven knows it’s time for something new to melt our minds. But first the good news. Since the missing kids routine was such a showstopper, today the blackboard pyramid is not a pyramid at all! It’s Maddie at the top (I think she is superglued there), and in a surprise bit Â of joie de vivre, Paige, Brooke, Nia AND Chloe all made the second row! On the other hand, poor Vivi-Anne [...]
By Lori Acken Follow @ChannelGuideLLA Ok, now I can barely feel my leg for how hard this show is pulling it. (And yet, I watch.Â And. Yet. I. Watch.) For one, in the first five minutes of this episode, tastefully titled “Dying To Dance,” Â Abby Lee referred to her oddly-assembled little group of dancers as “the entire cast.” For two, she’s bumping 8-year-old Maddie into the age 9-11 solo competition category and no one says a thing. Except Christi. Who, if she was really that tweaked, would have tipped off the judges and put a fine, fast end to Chloe’s competition. [...]
By Lori Acken Follow @ChannelGuideLLA So here we are, five episodes into the adventures of Abby Lee Miller and her flunky bunch, and I finally feel completely safe putting this out there. No, not that I think that if any other adult authority figure â€” say the real live school teachers whose time and efforts Miller thinks so little of â€” would subject pre-adolescent children to the kind of verbal firepower and exhaustive scheduling that she does, social services or someone might come a’runnin’. Abby says she’s just trying to emancipate these little girls from their mothers’ lack of trust [...]