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“Dance Moms” episode 25 recap: National Measure

September 5, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Dance Moms Episode 25: Last ep till the season finale, kids. Are we all prepped for the long, cold months ahead with no Dance Moms? I mean, we’ll have Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition to tide us over — and I’ve talked to her about it, so watch for that coming soon — but if the moms and their girls are the draw for you, that’s probably only some consolation. I’ve heard reliable rumblings of reunion shows to shorten the gap, but nothing official just yet. I’ll keep you posted. And I wonder if they can borrow Andy Cohen to host if [...]

“Dance Moms” episode 24 recap: Kaya-yi!

August 29, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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And so it came. The dreaded Dance Moms Episode 24: Since I am pretty sure that Christi had no idea how this thing would edit out, I’m not sure if she was warning me about the preposterousness of Abby inserting a kid who walked in off the street smack-dab into the competition team in time for a trip to L.A.; or the kid’s swear-word-loving, afro-sporting mom whose interactions with the Pitt Crew afford us one uncomfortable moment after the next over issues of race and social class and sexuality and the pinnacle price of stage-mothering; or … what. But in [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: Boys Rule, Chicks Cruel

August 15, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Well, I was kinda hoping we might start this week’s outing by addressing why Abby went outer limits at duet-winner Chloe at the end of last week’s episode, but I guess not. And given that we’re chugging ever closer the end of Season 2, I should really stop grasping for a plotline to cling to like the Maddie-Chloe rivalry of simpler days gone by. And yet I cannot. Abby’s still speaking remedial French, though. And she seems downright tickled at how Starbound Philly went. So whatever the “Sneaky Sneaky” meltdown that sent Chloe fleeing in tears was about, I guess c’est [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: Jill Is Going To Cost Me A Lot Of Money In Therapy

July 24, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Boy howdy, do things get rolling quickly on this little crankfest! I haven’t even come close to maxing out my admiration for the drama mama’s fashion choices when the studio door opens and evil strolls in. I mean, Jill. Sporting Linda Evans’ Dallas hairdo. And another pon-shirt. And approximately half her body weight in eye makeup. The Ladies of the Loft are appalled! See? Appalled! Jill is undaunted. She wants back in at the ALDC and she doesn’t care what she has to do to get there. Including barging in on Pyramid time, causing the Abster to declare her officially [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: Drop Dead, Diva!

July 18, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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So what’s the bets for tonight, Dance Moms Nation? Will Paige be at the bottom of the pyramid for performing her mother’s choreography over Abby Lee’s? Will Jill and Kendall reappear at ALDC? Perhaps with another piece of furniture for Abby’s lobby as an olive branch? Will Abby Lee be wearing a necklace with even more crap on it than last time? We should really find out. * UPDATE: Find out more about Abby Lee’s new series Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition and see a first pic from her Aug. 12 Drop Dead Diva appearance! Abby’s in awfully good spirits for pyramid time, [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: Ringers ’Round The Apples

July 11, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Now, there ya go! THAT was an episode! We had villains we love to hate, villains we hate to love, drama that made me clutch my head and holler “ahhhmahhh gahhhd, that’s so fake,” a tablecloth/poncho for a shirt, drinks with Kelly and Christi, and my Welcome to Ohio sign (John R. Kasich, Governor). Welcome back, my Dance Moms of yore! Welcome back! Now stay. Staaaaay. Let’s get the business end of things outta the way. • Miss the episode? Watch it here for free. This week, we will be traveling to the land of Kasich and Candy Apples, and, [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: Secrets, Lies & Leslie

June 27, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Is it just me, Dance Moms Nation, or was this the feel-bad episode of the year? So much so that I changed my mind about what this blog should be called about 18 times in the first ten minutes alone. Abb-niss Eats The Children. Everyone’s Replaceable. Bully For You — whoops did that one already. Hush, Little Leslie, Don’t Say A Word. Go For The Silver (Anniversary). IT’S THE LARGEST COMPETITION IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! And given the various horrors of last week’s trip to Michigan, I expected Abby to spend at least the whole time I decided what to call [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: A Tale of [Those] Two [Other] Studios

June 20, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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I’m troubled, Dance Moms Nation. No, not about the overall feeling of discord and dread that seems to have permeated Pittsburgh. No, not about the conspicuous lack of attention my beloved Ohio sign is getting thus far. Not even about how much sleep Maddie is getting, which I don’t think is enough. While all of those things do worry me, what is weighing so heavily on my mind is how fashionable everyone in the Pitt Crew has become. I mean, accessibly fashionable. So that even I can understand it. Fashion for TV Writer Dummies, if you will. Witness Kelly’s lovely [...]

Exclusive “Dance Moms” party pics of Chloe, Christi, Clara, Nia, Holly and Paige!

June 14, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Dance Moms fans, lest you worry that it’s all work and stress and no play for our Pitt Crew ladies, big and small, we’ve got the adorable photos to prove otherwise! Courtesy of Dance Moms‘ own Christi Lukasiak, here are exclusive shots from Chloe’s and Nia’s joint birthday celebration last weekend, complete with Nia’s cuddly surprise gift, a peek at Kelly’s cute son Josh, precious pictures of Chloe’s little sister Clara — and a bonus Dance Moms Fashion Moment! The birthday girls: The birthday girls with Paige: “NIA GOT A DOG for her birthday! Big concession by Dr. [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: You’re (Un)dead to Me!

June 13, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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So, Dance Moms Nation, did everyone go out and buy themselves a bike-a-tard to futz with since we hung out last? No? Me either. I wanted to, but apparently bike-a-tards are not appropriate office attire, even when all you do is write about TV. Even if you dress it up with a jacket and some pumps. Um, if any of you try that, could you please take a picture and Tweet it to me? @ChannelGuideLLA On with the episode. Abby is clearly not over the general disaster that was last week’s trip to Cali because she gets on the girls [...]