dance moms recap | Channel Guide Magazine

“Dance Moms” recap: Boys Rule, Chicks Cruel

August 15, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Well, I was kinda hoping we might start this week’s outing by addressing why Abby went outer limits at duet-winner Chloe at the end of last week’s episode, but I guess not. And given that we’re chugging ever closer the end of Season 2, I should really stop grasping for a plotline to cling to like the Maddie-Chloe rivalry of simpler days gone by. And yet I cannot. Abby’s still speaking remedial French, though. And she seems downright tickled at how Starbound Philly went. So whatever the “Sneaky Sneaky” meltdown that sent Chloe fleeing in tears was about, I guess c’est [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: French Diss

August 8, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Or … “The one in which I find out what that ‘Alouette’ song I learned in Girl Scouts really means.” But first, did everyone come through two weeks with no new Dance Moms okay? Everybody good? Catch a little Olympics action? Or … whatever else they air on Tuesday nights? And now we’re back, but Paige and Kelly aren’t. Turns out, they’re at the doctor for the foot Paige crunched backstage at last episode’s competition in Lancaster. Abby uses this information as a teaching moment: The girls have to understand that their bodies are their instruments. Or Abby’s instruments, anyway. Little talented tools [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: Ringers ’Round The Apples

July 11, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Now, there ya go! THAT was an episode! We had villains we love to hate, villains we hate to love, drama that made me clutch my head and holler “ahhhmahhh gahhhd, that’s so fake,” a tablecloth/poncho for a shirt, drinks with Kelly and Christi, and my Welcome to Ohio sign (John R. Kasich, Governor). Welcome back, my Dance Moms of yore! Welcome back! Now stay. Staaaaay. Let’s get the business end of things outta the way. • Miss the episode? Watch it here for free. This week, we will be traveling to the land of Kasich and Candy Apples, and, [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: Abby’s Rants-A-Thon

July 4, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Aw, c’mon, man! I thought I was getting one — just one — episode where we could all sit back and revel in the talent of our favorite little dancers before we wade back into the well-dressed sturm und drang of life at ALDC. I thought tonight’s Dance Moms Drinkie Word could be “Hooray!” But nooooo! We get an hour of Abby bitchin’ away with no moms to call her on it. Still, I must admit I thoroughly enjoyed the little trip down Memories-of-Abby’s-Hairbands Lane. And whether the high priestess of dance liked them or not, it was lovely to [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: A Tale of [Those] Two [Other] Studios

June 20, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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I’m troubled, Dance Moms Nation. No, not about the overall feeling of discord and dread that seems to have permeated Pittsburgh. No, not about the conspicuous lack of attention my beloved Ohio sign is getting thus far. Not even about how much sleep Maddie is getting, which I don’t think is enough. While all of those things do worry me, what is weighing so heavily on my mind is how fashionable everyone in the Pitt Crew has become. I mean, accessibly fashionable. So that even I can understand it. Fashion for TV Writer Dummies, if you will. Witness Kelly’s lovely [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: You’re (Un)dead to Me!

June 13, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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So, Dance Moms Nation, did everyone go out and buy themselves a bike-a-tard to futz with since we hung out last? No? Me either. I wanted to, but apparently bike-a-tards are not appropriate office attire, even when all you do is write about TV. Even if you dress it up with a jacket and some pumps. Um, if any of you try that, could you please take a picture and Tweet it to me? @ChannelGuideLLA On with the episode. Abby is clearly not over the general disaster that was last week’s trip to Cali because she gets on the girls [...]

“Dance Moms” recap: The More They Stay The Same

June 6, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Everybody remember where we left off in April? Maddie stumbled. Chloe soared. Abby bent over, let us see her shake her tail feathers — then hightailed it outta Jersey in shame. Everybody good? Before we begin, quick moment of silence for Hubby Rik who got his priorities goofed and is working right now instead of patrolling the Pitt Crew for swears and apologies. I guess he will just have to read the little missus’s recap to find out what happens, now won’t he? Or maybe I’ll wait up for him and act the whole thing out. • Missed the episode? [...]

“Dance Moms: Miami” finale recap: Mamas & Mia!

May 30, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Anybody else think this season flew by? I think this season flew by. Yes, that means that we can get back to business with Abby Lee and her disobedient minions, but still. Finales are always sad. Well, usually. Speaking of always sad — it’s time for The List. Victor’s still tickled about how well we all did in San Antonio, but still … this week we have to own it. Er, own what? Doesn’t matter — since Angel wasn’t there to see the ownership of San Antonio with his own eyes, he doesn’t believe it anyway, so whatever it is, it [...]

“Dance Moms: Miami” episode 7 recap: If You’re Happy and You Know It, Please Shut Up

May 23, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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It’s my life. It’s my time. It’s my Tuesday night — after spending a merry Tuesday afternoon at my desk watching the Miami Mommies duke it out on Twitter (giving the actual show some stiff competition, I’m telling you). If you Tweet and don’t follow the mamas, you should. It’s like social-media, non-contact, professional wrestling without quite so much Spandex. But anyway, the episode. As we prepare to do The List, Abby and Sammy are MIA. Victor says this is ridiculous and that the other mothers should call their wayward counterpart and demand her attendance straightaway. Victor has clearly not been [...]

“Dance Moms: Miami” episode 6 recap: Welcome to the Circus!

May 16, 2012 | By Lori Acken
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Good Lord, people, if you are not following the individual Dance Moms on Twitter, you totally should. Despite their longwinded brouhahas in the Mom Room, those women can throw down in 140 characters or less. I’m not even sure when they are pretending just to get us to tune in anymore. It’s as good a show as the show, sometimes. Speaking of which, let’s get to recapping, shall we? • Missed the episode? Watch it online now for free! Victor could not be happier with the way last week’s Access Broadway performances went. Angel could. Angel! Really? What?! Everybody won. [...]