Dance Moms | Channel Guide Magazine

Dance Moms Season 3 Tell All Reunion Part 2 recap: For Crying Out Loud!

May 14, 2013 | By Lori Acken
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Welcome back, Dance Moms nation. Did everyone have a nice Mothers Day, even if you didn’t get your own TV special to commemorate it? Are you ready for — or dreading — our two-week sabbatical until Dance Moms starts up again June 4 with what’s looking like a doozy of a summer season? But right now we’ve got one more hour of Dance Moms Season 3 Tell All Reunion (and dance moms in jewel-toned dresses) to get through, so let’s have at it. We begin with a solo Abby once again, and this time JC Superstar Executive Producer wants to talk [...]

Dance Moms Season 3 Tell All recap: Children and Violence

May 7, 2013 | By Lori Acken
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Did everyone enjoy “The Mother of All Specials” that preceded tonight’s Dance Moms: Tell-All Reunion Part One, Dance Moms fans? Did it give you a better understanding of why Abby Lee is the way Abby Lee is — or make you more confused, since Mother Miller is calm and kind and often appears as puzzled by her daughter as we are? Did it make you nostalgic for when Dance Moms was more funny and fun, and less cutthroat and stressful —and we got to have Dance Moms fashion moments? Did it make you want to pop Abby’s dad in the [...]

Dance Moms Season 3 Episode 18 recap: Apple Sass

April 30, 2013 | By Lori Acken
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So we’ve reached the midterm of Dance Moms Season 3, Dance Moms nation. Everybody ready for a couple of reunion shows and a dab of a spring break before we have back at it come summer? But first we have two hours of midseason finale to get our tanks on “full” and get us through, so let’s get to it. While Abby’s taking stock of what numbers we have to get crackin’ on now that The View is behind us, Kelly actually asks her permission to take the solo-less Brooke to see a music manager. Abby says she’ll think about [...]

Dance Moms Season 3 episode 17 recap: The View, Screw You, And Cathy, Too

April 23, 2013 | By Lori Acken
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As we open this week’s episode, Dance Moms nation, the Pitt Crew is setting up shop at Stepping Out Studios in New York City. Because not only are we all going to appear on The View, but we’re also attending a competition while we’re out here. The Masters of Dance competition. Our first time ever. It’s basically another in10sity Dance thing — in Bernardsville, New Jersey, not the Big Apple proper — so we’re hardly new to the setup, but whatever. We’re going. And so are Cathy and the Lad Apples. This is hardly a surprise. The pyramid has a [...]

Dance Moms Season 3 Episode 16 recap: Queens For A Day

April 16, 2013 | By Lori Acken
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Abby’s got her cranky pants on again as we launch this week’s Dance Moms — in large part because the Dance About Democracy finished No. this in last week’s competition: And that don’t mean peace, boys and girls. Plus, not only are we getting beat by Cathy’s scab-a-rific imported Apples, we’re getting beat by, like, nobodies now. And this has got to change. Pyramid time. Mackie is bottom of the bottom because she didn’t dance. Then Paige. Abby — with a completely straight face — says Paige did a disservice to her country by holding the flag upside down in [...]

Dance Moms Season 3 Episode 15 recap: Schlock the Vote

April 9, 2013 | By Lori Acken
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After last week’s Dance Moms debacle against Cathy and the Lad Apples, the only thing Abby is impressed with this week is how Asia and Kristie were the first to show up for practice. After that, she wants to know how four strangers, taught by some dude they never met, still managed to tell a story via dance better than her own yahoos who have performed together since forever. Let’s take our rage to the pyramid. Bottom of the bottom is Mackie, by virtue of her injury. Then Brooke, who never works hard enough. Then Chloe, who shoulders the most [...]

Dance Moms Season 3 Episode 14 recap: Cathy Major, Asia Minor

April 2, 2013 | By Lori Acken
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Quick prayer to launch this week’s recap, Dance Moms nation, because I feel it is required. At least for me. Dear sweet Jesus and the gods of dance, please let this Asia thing I know is coming be a one-or-two-episode Asia thing I know is coming, because I cannot handle any more than that of Kristie Ray. I just cannot. Otherwise, grant unto me some Asia/Kristie fans who can nicely explain why I should become one. And the part where the kid is 7 doesn’t count. The part where Yvette Walts is not here to turn Kristie into Pokey McChestbump [...]

Dance Moms Season 3 episode 13 recap: Rak and Roll!

March 26, 2013 | By Lori Acken
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I would like to begin today’s Dance Moms recap by saying this: I have an officially licensed Dance Moms Abby Lee Miller “Bobblehips Figure” and you don’t. OK, maybe you do, since they are for sale right here for a mere $24.95. But the point is, I have one and it’s my new prized possession — at least for today — so there. Which puts me in a very good mood. Here she is making friends with Finger Zombie, who is my other prized possession. You’d think that after last week’s run of winning performances and victories over Cathy (and [...]

Dance Moms Season 3 episode 12 recap: Everything’s Coming Up Rosa

March 19, 2013 | By Lori Acken
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And it’s another two-hour marathon, Dance Moms nation. Everybody strapped in for the ride? We’re goin’ on the bus! As we begin, Abby says she’s trying to figure out what they need to do to regain their former first-place mojo. Easy, Abby. Stop cosponsoring the competitions. Then she takes a swipe at Maddie for not finishing first, as well, and goes right on into the pyramid. [EDITOR’S NOTE: For those of you new to these recaps, I kinda do these pyramids backward and report them the way Abby uncovers the photos. So we’re basically climbing the ladder, so to speak.] [...]

Dance Moms Season 3 episode 11 recap: Don’t Ask, Don’t Yell

March 12, 2013 | By Lori Acken
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Here’s the good news, Dance Moms faithful. We had two hours to fill tonight and, once again, a decent portion of it was a pretty good time. Flirty, happy Abby. Booze-a-riffic moms. Another “Invitational featuring the Abby Lee Dance Studio” competition — this time in Minneapolis — so I can attribute all the losing to the part where you can’t really invite a bunch of people to your party and then win all the door prizes. I think I’m sensing a theme/business deal here in Season 3 — but whatever. Even if it was our party last week in Jersey, too, [...]